children Archives - Page 4 of 4 - Aimed at the Heart

The Value of Community and How to Build It

I don’t often require childcare for my children but, when I do, I know where to find it. If I’m desperate (like the time my friend called to tell me she was in labour and I needed to get to her house right away) I know who I can call. If I need help folding laundry, I know who to ask. I know who would be willing and able to bring my family a meal if I was sick and unable to cook. I even put out a request recently to one of my local groups to help support a friend in her business and the result was absolutely incredible! I have built some pretty amazing friendships in this area and have never had to feel like I’m in this battle journey of motherhood alone.

The value of support has really hit home this last week for two reasons: First, it occurred to me that we could be moving as soon as 2-3 weeks; and second, a mom posted in a local group about how she didn’t feel like she had the support and encouragement she needs. (The group really stepped up with such an accepting and non-judgemental attitude that I believe this wonderful Mama found the love and support she was missing.)

I know that many of my friendships will stay strong even after I move away but things will change. They physically will not be able to support me in the same way (and I won’t be able to support them in the same way either, which is an even harder thought!). There is something to be said for having a neighbor nearby that you can count on.

Though I’m a little nervous about reaching out and developing a whole new local support system, I need to make it a priority.

A local support community isn’t something that just happens. Bake a pie, head over to your neighbors’ house and introduce yourself. Take some time to get to know them and learn what’s important to them. Then offer help with no expectations that they will return the favour because, in most cases, they won’t. And that’s okay. Because most people don’t even understand what community is anymore. If you want community, you need to show those around you what a community is. Community is about going the extra mile to make someone else’s life easier. Keep doing that and you’ll eventually stumble upon someone with the same mindset. It takes time and you may frequently need to step out of your comfort zone. But it will be worth it. And for those of us who are not the type of personality to throw a community BBQ, we can build it up one person at a time.

I read a lot of books about the Amish lifestyle and one of the most admirable things is their sense of community. The women have quilting bees and if someone’s barn burns down, the community gets together and has a barn raising. What have you done to show those around you the value of community? Any tips for me? Also, do you know who would come out to help when you need a barn raising?

Is Homeschooling Right for Your Family?

by Tessa | Motherhood

Have you thought about homeschooling but are still trying to figure out if homeschooling is right for your family? I came across a website that made me think about my reasons for wanting to homeschool and actually put them on paper. This was an awesome exercise for me to go through because not only did it make me evaluate my reasoning (part of it is because I just can’t stand the thought of sending my children away from me for 8-9 hours a day) and expand on that, it was also good for my husband to see what some of the reasons were. He was initially a little more skeptical of homeschool but fast forward a few years and he has turned into a homeschooling advocate. This is a great exercise to go through if you have ever wonder is homeschooling right for your family.

Here are the thoughts that I put on paper as I followed the outline on the aforementioned website:

Our Educational Beliefs

1. We believe children should love learning.
2. We believe a parent’s main goal for a child is to teach him/her to:
a) Love God wholeheartedly
b) Love others as they love themselves
c) Love him/herself (confidence/self-esteem)
3. We believe all children learn by different methods and learning should be tailored to suit the child (not vice versa)
4. We believe children are naturally curious and should not be discouraged from pursing those interests.
5. We believe education should not be restricted to a certain subject or method.
6. We believe a parent/teacher should only ever have enthusiasm about a child learning, not disappointment over what they haven’t learned.
7. We believe that if we work on our weaknesses, we end up with strong weaknesses and weak strengths. Instead we should focus on improving our strengths.

Life Goals for Our Children

1. We hope he learns to listen to his Heavenly Father in all things.
2. We hope he shows commitment to what he starts and is a man of his words.
3. We hope he becomes a wonderful, loving, involved husband and father (if God leads him that way).
4. We hope he does everything to his best ability.
5. A man of impeccable morals and ethics, We hope he always does the right thing, no matter what others do.
6. We hope he takes care of the mind and body God has given him.
7. We hope he is not afraid to be who God made him to be. Not ashamed of who he is.

Why we are going to home educate our children:

1. No one has a better vested interest in their education than we do.
2. To give us flexibility of time to pursue life instead of grades.
3. To stay close to our children – emotionally, mentally, and physically.
4. To take the money we could spend on school and use it for education instead.
5. To be the favorite and respected teacher that they think about when they grow up.
6. Because we want my kids to learn in a way they enjoy.
7. Because kids learn better/more if they are not restricted by grades/curriculum.
8. Because we will not allow anyone to make my child feel stupid or inferior.
9. So our children will learn with, intereact with, and appreciate children in all age groups.
10. So we can learn right alongside our children.
11. Our school systems do not recognize the uniqueness of our children and their specific needs/interests.
12. To know what our children are learning.

I highly recommend that all parents fill out the first two parts of the activity. Then take a step back and figure out if the conventional school system will be able to meet those goals. If so, then you know what to do. If not, perhaps it is time to look at an alternative for your child’s future.

So how did you answer the question of is homeschooling right for your family?

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Amatuer Bird Watcher

by Tessa | Motherhood

C has, since he was quite young, had a special place in his heart for birds. I remember when he first learned to sign it: We would be sitting at the table and he would point out the window and sign “bird.” Adam and I couldn’t see any so we just said, “yes, birds live outside.” After a couple of weeks of him regularly insisting that there were birds out that window I finally decided to take him to that side of the house to see his reaction. It turns out there was a bird nest right above our window. You couldn’t see the nest from inside but C must have seen the birds flying in and out of it when Adam and I weren’t looking.

He was about two when we splurged and bought him a “Birds of Alberta” book. He flipped through it pretty regularly for a while but then it got put in the jumble of books on the shelf.

The birds have recently returned from their soiree in the south. And the bird book has reappeared. My father purchased a set of small binoculars so C can now officially go birdwatching. It is incredible how much he know about specific species and how many he can identify! For a while we would read about a bird (or two, or six) every day. Now he brings the book a couple times a week to learn (or relearn) about one bird at a time.

I believe that this is unschooling at it’s finest. Provide the opportunity, and children will get curious. Learning without pressure or prejudice. All I need to do is encourage him. And learn about birds alongside my son.

Random bird fact: Did you know that a house swallow waits until other birds build a next and then swoops in a takes it from them? (C doesn’t think that is very nice.)

Curriculum or Not?

by Tessa | Motherhood

My son is heading into that age that people will start asking about schooling choices. I was asked last year if we were planning to send Caleb to preschool. I said that we weren’t because he could play just as well at home or at a friend’s house. The response, “Well I guess he can just go to kindergarten in a year or two.” This was from someone who knows (or should know after being told multiple times) that we are going to homeschool our children.

This conversation has popped into my mind a few times over the last few months as Caleb has recently turned four and therefore he is technically eligible to be enrolled in kindergarten in a year. Which isn’t going to happen of course but our intentions will become a lot more apparent and concrete when the actual time comes to not enroll him. This means we will have a lot more explaining to do and questions to answer about our choices.

I don’t plan to write at this point about how we came to the conclusion that we feel like we should educate our children at home, or even our goals for our childrens’ education. What I want to talk about is the “how.”

I have been sitting on the couch the last few days with a sick baby (or toddler as I suppose he is technically called now). We have basically sat on the couch snuggling and nursing. It is times like these that I’m glad I have a laptop! I have been reading reviews after review on homeschooling curricula. There are some really amazing programs out there and I wish I could try them all. I learned about all the different methods and I just know that it will be a lot of fun. I may be a bit of a nerd because I wish I could do them all just to expand my own knowledge base. I get excited abut trying to figure out which one we should buy.

Then I look at my oldest son.

He loves to snuggle up on my lap with a story. He loves to play outside. He loves to help his daddy work on the farm. He loves to play games or do anything that involves interacting with people. He does not typically enjoy sitting at a table with crayons or a pencil. He only occasionally enjoys doing something “crafty” like playdough or cutting or stickers. After adding my son’s personality into the picture, I couldn’t find one single curriculum or plan that suits him.

I also evaluated the educational beliefs and practices that I apply to myself.

I am interested in birth and breastfeeding. A couple years ago I read about 10-15 different books (textbooks and other reference books) an numerous online and magazine articles on these two topics alone. As I studied and educated myself on these two topics I also learned about attachment parenting; the family bed; the science/biology/chemistry of a woman’s body during pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, and mothering; the history of those topics and how it affects us today; and the way that other culture currently and historically birth and raise children. I did a “unit study” on those topics by reading “living books” and taking a lot of notes that I sometimes formed into essays/letters about what I had learned. In short: I “unschooled” myself. I had an interest in something and wanted to apply it to my life so I sought out the answers.

If unschooling works for me, why would I deny my child the opportunity to learn for himself by attempting to teach him things that don’t matter and don’t apply? He will learn about what interests him when he is ready to learn it. At that point I can encourage and assist him in figuring out how to learn it. My only goal as his mother and teacher at this point is to direct him to the Lord. Everything comes back to God. If he knows and trusts the Lord, what more does he truly need?

Matthew 6:33 “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”
The only “curriculum” we are going to make a point to study is the Bible. Seek the Lord and He will lead. And we are not going to worry about how our sons will learn how to live in His world because they will learn all they need by simply living in His world.

Though I’m a nerd and I need to admit something. I think I am going to buy a curriculum for Adam and myself to go through. He has actually agreed! It is one that is based on the Word and teaches you how to use the Bible as the basis for all your studies. Adam and I are looking forward to reading about history and science in a way that we have never seen it approached before. Going to pray about it a bit more to make sure that the purchase is led by God and not my own excitement.

Disclaimer: I understand that unschooling (or even homeschooling for that matter) is not for everyone. I do not judge you for choosing to do what you feel is best for your family so please don’t judge/criticize me for doing what I feel is best for my family. The most important thing is to follow God’s leading.

Where is God leading you? What do you feel is the best education solution for your family and why?