I is for Infatuated With My Newborn

In my “blogging through the alphabet series,” I didn’t get my “H” post up last week. I have about two thirds of it written but never got it finished. I’ve been busy. Busy doing nothing. Or, to be more precise, busy doing the most important thing in the world: mothering.

He is about 3 weeks old and has been excellent at keeping me completely and utterly distracted, in the best possible way. I’m completely infatuated with my newborn. A friend told me when I had my second that it’s a good thing I tore during the delivery because it forced me to spend a lot of time just sitting and allowing my body to recover. I understand the importance of that “laying in period” now, more than ever. The delivery was amazing and, except for fatigue and some lingering hip pain from the pregnancy, I felt good as new right after I had him. My husband regularly reminds me that I’ve just had a baby and should be acting accordingly.

How does a new mama need to act?

Sit on the couch and adore your baby. Memorize his hairline, the shape of his eyes, the way he forms his mouth into the sweetest little straight-mouthed smirk when he smiles. Let the laundry sit, unfolded, in baskets and let your other kids run around in pyjamas all day. Eat grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch every day and accept any and all meals that your mom is willing to make for you. Take a break from outside the home commitments and don’t allow guilt to set in for being out of touch with the world and community you are typically involved in. Go to bed early every night and sleep in as long as your baby and other children will let you.

I’ve been truly enjoying the newest addition to my family and my heart could burst with how blessed I feel with the gift of a third son. My other boys practically cheered when they woke up to find that our long-awaited baby was, in fact, another brother. My husband can’t believe that he gets to be the first in his family for like two generations to have more than two sons.

So “hi” to my readers and my online blogging friends and my real life friends. I’m still around and I’m doing well, but I’ve been busy. I planned to upload a picture of my adorable little mister but my software is currently holding my photos ransom. He’s pretty cute.

I’m not sure how “on the ball” I’m going to be the next while with my blog so I’m asking for your patience as I figure out this new life rhythm. Meanwhile, you can subscribe to my blog so you don’t miss a single post.
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G is for Increasing Gentleness Toward My Children

G is for Increasing Gentleness Toward My Children

A simple way to increase the level of gentleness in your home and family - Aimed at the Heart

One of our household mantras go like this:
How do we behave?
Polite and Gentle and show each other Love.

We first started this when my oldest was learning how to properly pronounce an “L.” It encouraged him to repeat words with the “L” at the beginning, middle, and end of the word. It was an added bonus that it also included a character lesson.

In spite of the fact that my boys are typically less rambunctious in their play than one would expect from boys their age, we do have a tendency toward more intensity when it comes to emotions. With the addition of another little boy to our family last week (more on that later), we are in the midst of the extra dose of fatigue and attempts at finding a new family rhythm. Gentleness is a habit that we need to get back into.

One of the things that has helped serve as a reminder for gentleness was to light a candle and say a prayer for my home.  C and Biscuit help me light (or remind me to light) the candle and I explain why I’m lighting it and pray out loud for peace in our home and gentleness toward each other. I love having a visual (and scented!) reminder and we hold each other accountable treating each other with love. Yes, I allow my children to call me out when I treat them unacceptably.

I know that there are a lot more ways to increase the habit of gentleness but I’m starting with my candle and prayer. It’s simple. And, with a newborn in my arms, simple is about as good as I can do!

Do you have any other simple ways for increasing gentleness in yourself and your children?

Make sure you don’t miss any posts in this series by subscribing to my weekly blog newsletter!
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F is for Fatigue: How to Survive on Interrupted Sleep

F is for Fatigue: How to Survive on Interrupted Sleep

F is for Fatigue: How to Survive on Interrupted Sleep

Many cultures don’t ever question night wakings the way that North America does. They expect kids to be waking during the night until after age three!
Mama Fatigue: How to survive on interrupted sleep
But in all of the parenting and breastfeeding support forums and groups that I am a part of, the number one subject of concerns is based around sleep. Mom is tired; baby is waking frequently; baby won’t fall asleep on his/her own; baby won’t sleep alone; and the list goes on.

I’m not going to tell you how to get your baby to sleep. I subscribe to the “wait it out” philosophy. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: all babies sleep…. eventually.

“But you don’t know my baby! She’s 8/14/18 months old and still waking every two hours. I can’t survive like this!”

Yes, you can. And you will. Generations of mothers have done it before you and generations of mothers will survive it after you.

Let me tell you about an adorable little boy who people said had “sleep problems”:

He nursed every 1-2 hours, round the clock. He only ever slept if he was in someone’s arms. Even during the night. He awoke as soon as he was laid down. He never slept more than a two hour stretch, or went more than two hours between needing breastmilk (from the source or expressed), until he was 18 months old. He “finally” went to sleep without nursing down when he was about 2.5 years old. At that point he learned to nap on his own during the day, though he still needed to be in someone’s arms at night. He was about 3.5 years old when he was “finally” able to sleep on his own but he still woke 2-3 times per night, every night. So he slept in a bed right next to his Daddy to make it easier to settle him back down quickly. At around age 4 he started to go to bed consistently at about 8pm, instead of his usual 10-11pm. He still woke 1-2 times per night. At 4.5 years old he asked if he could have his own room. And he started going to bed at 7:30 every night and slept a full 12 hours, with no night wakings. He has never had any of the regular nighttime fears (dark, monsters, being alone etc) and bedtime is never a struggle. He has never cried himself to sleep and has never been sleep trained.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: all babies sleep…. eventually.

4 tips to help you survive mama fatigue
Once you accept the fact that your baby/toddler/preschooler is normal and his/her night waking are completely normal, how do you survive on interrupted sleep?

Here’s what I’ve learned about how to survive on interrupted sleep:

Napping

I took every single nap with my oldest until he was 6 months and then I went down to about two naps per day, a 9-10pm bedtime, and sleeping/dozing/nursing as long as I could in the morning. It meant I scheduled my days around my naps for a long time (he would nap anywhere, as long as he was in my arms) but it was what I needed to do to stay health and sanity.

With my second, napping was a bit different. I found I adjusted to the lack of sleep much quicker, which helped. My oldest napped once per day until his brother was just over a year. So after that I would put the baby down and turn on a show for my oldest. He would sit with my while I dozed on the couch. Confession here: I also started drinking coffee more regularly when my oldest quit napping. I still went to bed as early as I could and slept as late as I could.

Quiet time

Now I have no nappers and am pregnant. First trimester fatigue just about did me in! I would send the boys to play and just doze on the couch, or I would turn a show on and give them a snack while I napped. I was never really big on TV for my kids but Netflix has probably saved my health by allowing me a bit of midday quiet! About half the time I can also make a fort out of the bunk bed or under the kitchen table and I set the kids in there with a couple books and they will sit until the timer goes off. Or, when Mama “forgets” to set the timer, they will sometimes enjoy their fort and quiet time for over an hour! If you’re interested in more specific details, here’s great article on how to get establish a quiet time.

Do Less

I also make the choice to stay home a lot more than many moms I know. I choose not to get overly involved in everything so that I can take care of my health and get my kids used to a regular quiet time (which I’m guessing will be really handy when the baby comes).

Focus on Health

Also vitamin b complex and iron are my good friends (this is not medical advice, look into supplements yourself if you think your body may be lacking). And, again, a regular bed time is critical. Crystal from Money Saving Mom has “make sleep a priority” as her number one tip in her 15 Ways to Have More Energy series. I completely agree.

Take heart, Mama. You can and will survive this. Believe it or not, your body is designed to adjust to this interrupted sleep pattern. While you are in this season of your life, turn around the clock, let go of unrealistic expectations (of yourself and your child), and decide to accept the fact that you have been called to this role and that you are fully equipped to make it through.
If you are a mom who has made it through the years of interrupted sleep, leave some words of encouragement for those mothers who are “in the trenches,” so to speak.

If you are an exhausted mother, I’m starting into season/child number 3 any day now (hopefully!) and will be right there in the trenches with you! Are you willing to turn around the clock and ignore the calendar to make the commitment to meet your child’s needs until they are outgrown?

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A perfect example of how unschooled kids actually do learn everything they need to know. Does unschooling actually work? - Aimed at the Heart

My oldest son has known his letters and their sounds since before he was three. But couldn’t count for the life of him. I knew it would come eventually. My husband and I giggle about the fact that the first day he counted to 5 (at about age 5) his little brother was right beside him (at just over two) and counted to 10! We reminded ourselves to trust God’s design for him.

A few mornings ago, he was awake at 5:30am and just laid in bed, quietly. I asked why he didn’t go back to sleep. He told me he was practicing his counting. I asked him why and his response was simply that that he wanted to learn his numbers. I believe it is so he can recognize cow numbers so he can be a better helper for his daddy and Opa (my dad).

He recently started counting everything. He’s 5.5 and can finally count to 10! And count 10 items and recognize all sorts of other numbers between 1-100. Tonight he was even doing addition and subtraction with his dinner (he had 7 nuggets and ate 3 so he had four left, things like that).

I just wanted to share because, to my husband and me, this is such an amazing example of how our kids will figure out what they need to know in their lives/interests and then pursue it.

The Most Important Christian Discipline

The Most Important Christian Discipline

Welcome to this week’s Word on Wednesday post. Join me for a reflection on a piece of scripture and how it can be applied to our daily lives.
The Most Important Christian Discipline- Aimed at the Heart

There are so many wonderful disciplines that Christians can benefit from but the most important Christian discipline is to “read your Bible, pray every day and you’ll grow, grow, grow.” Do you remember that kid’s song? It constantly runs through my head when I start to wonder how people develop such a strong walk with God. It’s such a simple instruction and, yet, so many of us don’t do it. In fact, studies show that more than 80% of Christians don’t read their Bible daily. I wonder, if the same people were polled, how many would admit to reading the newspaper or their Facebook or Twitter feed daily?

If you want to read your Bible in a year, it would take less time than watching your favorite show every day or staying caught up on your social media or current news events. It really comes down to choosing your priorities. A simple 15 minutes every day in the Word can revolutionize your faith life. It’s not the same as an in depth study but it’s a great start. Even a baby step forward is better than no steps forward at all.

Up until a couple years ago, nearly the only time my Bible was ever opened was at church. I tried to read it more often but it was never really high on my priority list. According to this verse, God could have given me over to a depraved mind. I’m glad that, instead, He safeguarded my heart and mind! It’s taken me about two years to get into a really good habit of staying caught up on my Bible reading plan. Now it’s time for me to look into doing a more in depth study of the Word. And to set up my children so their minds are safeguarded through scripture intake as well.

If you’re ready to make God’s word more of a priority, here are a couple of great sites that can guide you:

Good Morning Girls: Good Morning Girls exists to inspire, encourage and equip women all over the world to get into God’s Word through our online community. GMG has multiple online Bible studies, resources and videos created with YOU in mind and all for FREE!

Rachel Wojnarowski: To inspire you to live out extraordinary faith in Christ by providing everyday real-life solutions. To encourage Bible reading and prayer in personal relationship with God and to recommend tools and technology that will grow your faith, as well as the faith of your children.

YouVersion Bible App: YouVersion is a simple, ad-free Bible that brings God’s Word into your daily life. Read the Bible, study the Bible, subscribe to Bible plans, and take the Bible with you.

For those of you who consistently get into the word, what are your favorite resources or methods when it comes to Bible reading?
If you’re still working on making this a habit, what is one thing you can do to take a step forward in this journey?

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