by Tessa | Motherhood, Personal Development
I have been battling with depression for a long time. I know for sure that I was depressed at about 15 and it has been a thorn in my side ever since. Sometimes I’m winning the battle and other times I need to be reminded that the battle isn’t my own.
After a nasty bout of post partum depression last year, I wanted to share some words with those who are currently in the thick of it. I know that I have a number of friends who are there right now so this is for you:
Dear Friend,
I want you to know that you’re in my prayers. You always are (in case you didn’t know) but particularily at this moment about the emotional roller coaster that is your life right now. One thing that I used as a reminder of the light at the end of the tunnel was putting a few Bible verses on index cards and putting them in my chore card box so I could read them every day (or at least every day that I remembered to open my box!). Even if I didn’t do the chore cards, I felt better just reading my verses out loud. Here are the ones that I found regular strength and comfort in:
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8
Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always. Remember the wonders He has done, His miracles, and the judgements He pronounced. 1 Chronicles 16:11-12
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26
So do not fear, for I am with you; Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand. Isaiah 41:10
No matter how bad I felt, whether it was last year with my PPD or the worst year of my depression 8 years ago, I always had that Light at the end of the tunnel. The promise that this valley would end. And it will. You’re not going to just “snap out of it” and you’re not going to find a miracle cure (though if you do then you have to share with me!!!!) but you will slowly build things up again. One step at a time. Until you get to the point that you can look back and realize that it’s been a while since you had a bad day, your only goal is to survive. Like that popular poem says, “rock your babies, because babies don’t keep.”
You are a fabulous mother and your children know how much you love them. They will never forget that no matter how out of control you may feel. Breathe in, breathe out. And cry if you need to. And always remember that there is a Light. Let me know if you need help finding Him!
Love always from your friend who has been there and survived.
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by Tessa | Faith
Snow White was as good as dead. Her friends had all given up hope. Then along comes Prince Charming and her whole reality changes. One kiss and she goes from the coffin to the castle.
It often seems that people think “happily ever afters” only happen in fairy tales. Perhaps that is why there is a recent influx of movies and TV shows that revolve around a fresh approach to many traditional fairy tales. I have seen countless previews for movies about Snow White, Cinderella, and Red Riding Hood.
I like movies that are easy on the mind. Movies with happy endings. The girl gets the guy, the cop gets the villain, and the orphan gets his family. Maybe it is sappy. Or maybe I’m realistic.
Another thing I love is reading and listening to the Psalms. They are full of happy endings. There is a lot of talk about how God will punish the wicked and raise up His people. I don’t so much like to think about the wicked being punished (most of the time anyway; to be perfectly honest, sometimes I can’t wait for people to get what’s coming to them) but it is more the reminder that good will win. God will win.
Everything in Scripture points to the fact that God triumphs over all.
David was in the wilderness running from King Saul when he wrote:
I am in the midst of lions;
I am forced to dwell among ravenous beasts—
men whose teeth are spears and arrows,
whose tongues are sharp swords.
(Psalm 57:4)
I don’t know about you but I can totally relate! So often I have felt like people and circumstances around me were poised and waiting to attack me. If I make one wrong move, or word something wrong, the enemy takes the opportunity to attempt to tear me to shreds.
Yet David sings on. The Psalm continues and David ends with:
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
David knew that there would be a happy ending. He would become king because God said so. And I sing on too. Even though my faithfulness to Him is imperfect, His faithfulness to me is infinite and perfect. He never falters.
So I’m going to continue enjoying movies and stories with happy endings. Not just because they give me warm fuzzies, but because it reminds me that good always wins. God always wins.
by Tessa | Homemaking
There is something satisfying about drinking my morning coffee from a pretty cup. It’s even better when I can drink it hot. Hot coffee seems like such a novelty to me.
I am not one of those people that needs to drink my coffee before I get my day started. My day starts the instant my little ones and I awake. They hit the ground running and I find it is best if I follow suit. I use it more as a reward for when I’m done my first couple tasks in the morning. I clean for a couple hours (with frequent interruptions to referee or wipe bums) and then I get to sit down with my coffee and sometimes a good book, sometimes
Facebook or
Pinterest, or sometimes a stack of Magic School Bus books with two children in my lap.
I’m used to drinking lukewarm coffee. I have even been known to stick it in the microwave to reheat (yes, I do realize microwaves are not optimal for health so if you have another quick way to warm it up I’m all ears). I used to put it in a spill proof thermos cup so I could have hot coffee all day long and not have to worry about the kids knocking it over. Then I realized that I just really look forward to my 5 minute intervals of sitting on the couch, sipping my coffee, pretending that I am in a quaint Parisian coffee house listening to Bach and reading a really great historical romance novel.
My daily “me time” consists of a pretty mug, lukewarm coffee that is heavily laden with French vanilla creamer and the tumult of two little boys, that I absolutely adore, playing with their trucks and loaders. Peace and quiet will come one day and, on that day, I’ll be glad I appreciated the noise while it lasted.
I have been battling with depression for a long time. I know for sure that I was depressed at about 15 and it has been a thorn in my side ever since. Sometimes I’m winning the battle and other times I need to be reminded that the battle isn’t my own.
