by Tessa | Homemaking
I wrote last week about how I am currently in a season of rest. I gladly gave up all the busyness of my previous life when we moved, and I made a purposeful decision not to reignite that path. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy the multiple playdates and friend visits every week. I loved my women’s Bible study and the hours I spend volunteering with new moms. I truly enjoyed my sewing business and doing the marketing and sales for it. I even loved giving the gift of marketing and bookkeeping services for a couple of other local businesses. Not to forget living out my role as a wife and mother.
But it couldn’t last. I was beginning to emotionally, mentally, and physically suffer.
Moving away from nearly all of my family and all of my support system presented me with a unique opportunity to hit the “restart” button. We knew that the farm startup would require a large time investment. I was able to commit the hours needed to parent the children largely on my own while my husband worked long hours and am glad that the farm work I had to do allowed me to bring them with me. They spent a great deal of time in the barns those first 6 months. I wasn’t able to reach out to the community a lot because I knew that my days were not my own. With most mornings spent in the barn, then brunch, housework and naptime, and then late afternoons consisting of chores, supper and then bedtimes, I was left with very few hours to pursue anything off the farm.
In spite of the fact that our days were so busy, we have felt a peace settle over our family. I think this peace came about for several reasons:
1. We are following God’s direction for our lives and His grace sustained (and continues to sustain) us through the transition and all that has come with it. We have had to rely on Him in a whole new way and He has provided more strength than we could have imagined.
2. We were spending more time focusing on just being with our family in our spare time. Partially because we were (are still, actually) so tied to the farm, but also because the family was/is working together toward a common goal. Even the kids sensed the importance of the work and put on their snow gear every morning to help out in the barn.
3. We are at a good stage right now with the kids. After having a very rough couple of years with a difficult pregnancy, my post partum depression and back injury, topped off with a son that took a long time for us to understand, we finally started to get into a good family groove. Days aren’t perfect but, since we aren’t overrun with outside commitments, we are able to meet our children where they’re at.
We are fully aware that things will be turned upside down in a few months as we prepare to introduce a newborn into the picture, and we’re okay with that. We are making preparations with our family rhythm and, more importantly, we are preparing our attitudes. The boys know that the new baby will need lots of attention and they have both eagerly volunteered to help out wherever they are able. We are practicing different housework tasks and, while the 2.5 year old is more limited in the duties he can do, the 5 year old is quite capable of doing nearly everything that I can do in the house.
Our season of rest may be nearing an end, but that doesn’t mean that we need to kick out the Peace that has settled either. I have a feeling that our next season could be entitled “Peace In a Time of Flux.”
by Tessa | Faith
I have often tried to live by Paul’s word to “Be content in all circumstances.” I’m not. Content that is. There are certain things that I am content with and others things that I wish I could change (or fast forward). It’s very difficult to find the balance between being content and striving to move ahead. I also believe that dreaming and goal setting is important.
One of my goals is to increase my scripture intake over the year. I have been reading Exodus lately. I read the part when the Israelites were grumbling about not having any water. (Ex 17:22-27) In my mind it seems like a legitimate complaint. They were in the desert and hadn’t had any water for 3 days. I’d be thirsty too! The part that really stuck me today was the part where it says that the Israelites were not grumbling against Moses. They were discontent (to say the least) with their circumstances and complained to Moses. But God said that their grumbling was to the Lord. That was a bit of a slap in the face to me. How often do I complain about certain circumstances in my life? Right before I wrote this (and during the writing of this) I have complained and grumbled. Some internally and some out loud. It doesn’t really make a difference who hears it because the One who it is against hears it all.
So here is my prayer:
Dear Lord, Please forgive me. I try to be content in the circumstances and situation you have put me in but so often I fail. I really need your strength to stop grumbling and please extend Your patience toward me as I take steps backward. Help me to appreciate every day the gifts you have bestowed on me. Lead me to the balance of contentment without complacency.
Amen.
by Tessa | Faith
I have all but given up on rising early. I know that the early bird catches the worm and I would love to start my day with an hour of Scripture and prayer but it’s just not happening. Instead of trying to guilt myself about it, I’ve found another strategy.
I really like the idea of morning quiet time with God. I used to be an early bird. Then I had children. I now really love (and need) my sleep. I still sleep-share (co-sleep) with my littlest and he has a sixth sense. As soon as I try to leave the bed in the morning he will wake up and want to nurse for an hour. So I remind myself that he’s only young once and we snuggle in for an hour of dozing/nursing.
Here are some alternatives to rising early yet still getting into God’s Word in the start of my day:
- Set an alarm and go to bed on time. For me this means at 10:15pm my phone starts jingling and I start getting ready for bed. This is often step one to getting a good start the next day.
- Set an alarm for the morning (mine is at 7am). This one drives my husband crazy because he’s usually the one turning it off while I roll over to go back to sleep. But every once in a while he will be unavailable (i.e. outside working already) and I have to jump out of bed to turn the alarm off. Most of the time the littlest wakes up, but sometimes he doesn’t. And by that point I’m out of bed anyway so I (try) to stay awake and read.
- Another alarm perk: they are on my smart phone. My smart phone also has a Bible app. Since I have my phone in my hand anyway I can flip open the app and start my daily reading while laying in bed.
- Sleep through the alarm and wake up around 8ish with the kids. This has been my usual routine as of late. They run around in jammies while I grab my already made coffee (did I mention I have the best husband ever?) and sit at the table.
I have started grabbing a journal to jot down my thoughts on my daily reading and I click “play” on my phone and Max Lucado reads the Bible to me. Sometimes it takes me half an hour (or more) to get my 15 minutes of reading in. Sometimes they play so nicely that I allow myself a bit of extra time to delve further into a verse that really spoke to me. Or write a quick blog post to tell you that, even if you have little ones and sleep is too precious to wake up early (can you say “multiple night wakings?”), you can still start your day right, with the Lord.
C is now back in the house and will be wanting some breakfast (or probably a cookie as I gave Biscuit one while he was playing outside to buy me a few extra minutes) so I’m off to get everyone dressed, fed, and out the door to do chores.
Do you have any other tips for getting in a few minutes of God-time before you start your day? I’d love to hear them!
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by Tessa | Homemaking
It has occured to me how complicated we can make our effort to living simply. We feel that we need to do it all and then some. We read blogs and books and feel like if we aren’t growing everything we eat and making everything we use, we must be doing something wrong. This revelation came to me when I was reading an article on how to simplify your DIY.
Or maybe I’m just talking about myself here. I know that I have a tendency to over complicate things. I have a wonderfully annoying habit of researching the pants off of anything and then trying to dive in head first. I really should remember what my goals are for changing our lifestyle.
I have a number of reasons: frugality, health, appreciating the simple things, teach my kids the importance of work and more. But, when I dream about my goals for my life, I don’t picture money in the bank, or being superfit/healthy. I picture being able to take the time to enjoy my family. Working alongside them without being tied down by the craziness of this world. Slowing down. Peace.
Now I need to ask myself, will what I’m doing lead me to that life? I’m pretty sure that, if I attempted to learn and do everything at once (garden, canning, herbalism, soap making, cheese making, weaving, knitting, sewing, building and wood working and the list goes on) that I would just burn out. We are not designed to do it all. And very few people are able to dive in head first without drowning. That doesn’t sound very peaceful to me.
So, instead of my grand plan for our garden this year, I managed to move one step further than last year. The only vegetables I planted were tomatoes and carrots. Oh, and onions because I saw an idea on pinterest and thought it would be a simple way to use up the space where I planted my chamomile (that didn’t come up). I planted in containers because I figured it made sense to have a portable garden due to our impending move. I watered with a bucket from my kitchen sink because I have no faucet on my house. And I watched and waited. I did very minimal weeding (one of my favorite parts of container gardening) and only a little bit of fertilizing.
My garden took about 10 minutes to care for every couple of days and I didn’t lose my mind. I learned a lot about growing tomatoes and carrots. I didn’t get a huge and bountiful crop this year but I did manage to learn enough to point me in the right direction for next year’s garden.
Next year my goal is small: plant enough of a garden so I don’t need to buy veggies through the growing season. If that goes well, the year after next I’ll plant enough so that we can store some for the winter.
But, for now, 10 minutes extra into my schedule is simple. Because simplifying should be simple to do.Another couple great posts that I have recently read that are great grounders when you’re feeling overwhelmed or like you’re not doing enough:
How Do you Know When You Are Natural Enough? (Cheeky Bums Blog)
dear sweet mom who feels like she is failing (Finding Joy)
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by Tessa | Homemaking
If this is the first time you’ve have heard about the news I’m about to share, I apologize. I wish I could tell everyone personally instead of having them find out in such an impersonal manner. But I can’t and the deadline is coming closer. So here’s my big news:
We are moving.
We are moving about 3.5 hours away but we have family, friends, and other ties to our current area so we will be back on a pretty regular basis. We bought a farm and are doing some barn renovations down there so things have been pretty hectic lately. Lots of trips down there to arrange renos and prepare the farm for animals and much more needs to be done. So there is a lot of work to be done and I’ve been doing what I can to prepare my family.
This includes things like figuring out internet, grocery stores, mail, banking, church information, kids activitiesc and mommy groups. I’ve also been trying to visualize how we will live in the new place. The house we are going to live in down there has about 200 square feet less space than here. Not a big deal for bedrooms but the main floor of the house is something else. It’s proving to be a tough layout to work with. For example, the “coat closet” is inside the bathroom and the space for the fridge is in the laundry room. I think that we have figured out how we can make our belongings work and I know that God will provide the peace and patience we need to live in that house for the time being. Due to the down sizing, we have had to make some tough decisions. We won’t have the space or storage that we do in our current house (there are only 3 closets in the whole house) so we are getting rid of stuff.
It is amazing how much stuff a person can accumulate. I filled a garbage bag with toys to donate and I packed some of the less popular toys. The boys haven’t missed them. They are actually sitting in a clear plastic bin on a shelf in the playroom and neither boy has asked for them to play with in the whole 6 weeks they have been packed. I may have to donate them as well. I have noticed that since I packed up a good number of toys (the boys play outside most of the time anyway) that I don’t have nearly as many issues getting them to clean up. I’m not tripping on toys the way I used to either. I like that!
I have also taken this opportunity to simplify other areas of our life. I packed about half of our dinnerware. I do still have extra plastic plates/bowls for snack times but we mostly haven’t missed the extra dinnerware. I have been doing way less dishes. I have a dishwasher but I used to wash all the plastics and pots and larger items by hand because the dishwasher was always full with plates. Now I can fit nearly every dirty dish and pot into the dishwasher and just run it every other day. It takes me 20 minutes to do dishes and clean the kitchen in the morning instead of 1.5 hours. The only issue I’ve run into with this is that my husband was upset that both large coffee mugs were dirty and he didn’t want to use a medium one so he didn’t drink his coffee one day.
Things I have already packed/donated: DVDs (we watch Netflix once in a while but that’s about it), books (just kept a couple out that I will read before the move), baby gear (lent it to my sister actually), all of the kids’ clothes that they don’t currently wear (plus most of what actually fits them too – less laundry!) and a lot of my clothes (sad yet freeing to donate all my nice business clothes I used before I became a SAHM, they can bless someone else).
Next areas to simplify/pack: towels (probably leave 1 towel per son, 1 for me, and 2 for hubby), computer gear (we have extras of nearly everything), some fabric (I have to face the fact that I won’t have time to sew it all before the move).
So preparing to move has given me a great opportunity to live with less. It has shown me that we really do have an abundance of “stuff” that we don’t really need. I’m not at the point that I could get rid of it all but I certainly am looking at things differently. I still have a bin with clothes that fit my boys because I know that they (especially my 4 year old) will wear out a couple pairs of pants before they outgrow them. I can just go to the bin to grab a “new” pair. I know that we will eventually have company over for dinner and will require those extra plates. So I’ll just go to the box to grab them. But the won’t go into my regular rotation because I don’t want to be a slave to my stuff. I don’t enjoy dishes or laundry so I’m going to keep it to a minimum.
Less stuff really does translate into more time!
Is there an area in your life and household that you can simplify? Ask yourself, do you really need that stuff or can you do with less?
