Illness, depression, poor planning, whatever the reason, it if far to easy to get behind on housework. Getting behind is the easy part. But how can we catch up on housework when we’re so overwhelmed that we can’t even manage to start?

Homemaking is not for the faint of heart. It is often a lonely endeavor with very little reward. It is no wonder that we so often become overwhelmed with it. But the formula to overcome overwhelm and catch up on housework is truly simple: know you are not alone, know that God’s grace is sufficient, and just do the next right thing. 

Some days are full of rain. Literary and figuratively. The house is chilly and dark and it feels like the most appropriate response is to ignore the schedule and to do list and cuddle under a fuzzy blanket with a mug of hot cocoa and a good book

So you do.

Then one gloomy day turns into two and, while you feel guilty when you look at the dishes and laundry, it is far to easy to ignore it all. Gloomy day 3 rolls around and it’s already becoming a habit to turn the other way when walking past the laundry.

Don’t misunderstand, the guilt is still there, but we tuck it into our mental storage closet and figure we will deal with it later.

There is no one to motivate or encourage us to do the work and routines in spite of the gloom. The kids certainly aren’t clamoring to do their chores. Our spouses can come home and see the mess but, even if well-intentioned, are often better at adding more guilt to the situation rather than encouraging and motivating us.

The blatant truth: homemaking is not for the faint of heart.

Yet so often we are faint of heart.

Some of the more challenging aspects of homemaking are not stain removal or washing walls (though I must confess I’m pretty terrible at both of those. (Do people regularly wash walls? Is that actually a thing?)

It is no surprise that we become weary of doing this good. Our mental storage closet gets filled with so much guilt from day after day of seeing all the we “should” have done (I despise that word, “should”) and eventually it all tumbles out and we are overwhelmed. I kind of liken it to trying to shove one more dodge ball into the school equipment locker but, when you open the door, all the other balls come tumbling on top of you and knock you onto your butt and they roll all over the place so you can’t grab them let alone try to shove them back into the closet.

So now all the guilt we’ve been trying to ignore is out in the open and we don’t know which piece to pick up to deal with first. There’s the guilt about the floors, the laundry, the bathroom, dishes, meal plans, dusting, fingerprints on walls, grunge in window sills, something stinky in the fridge etc etc etc.

Because we don’t know where to start, we often don’t start. Which we know doesn’t help the situation but it feels like all we can do at that moment is sit in the middle of those guilt balls and accept that there is no solution.

Except there is a solution. Truly. And it isn’t an overwhelming one either. It isn’t one that is just going to add more guilt because you weren’t able to complete the 30 day cleaning challenge someone says will cure you of this problem.

Step 1: You are Not Alone

Let go of the little voice telling you that you’re not good enough. That voice telling you “why can’t you do this? Your mother did it an your friends seem to have figured it out, there must be something wrong with you!” It’s just not true. Your mother (probably) wasn’t a natural housekeeper either. You just don’t remember her learning days or the days she struggled. Your friends experience hard days just like you do. If you don’t believe me, ask them. If they’re honest friends, they’ll admit to their moments of overwhelm too.

Step 2: God’s Grace is Sufficient

Remember that God put you in this home, in this family, in this role. He didn’t make a mistake. That was intentional. There is no one on earth who is more right for this than you. That doesn’t mean it isn’t challenging or that you’re going to be perfect at it. God doesn’t choose perfect people to work with. Nope. He chooses the imperfect, the overwhelmed, the lost, and the sinner. He doesn’t expect you to do this perfectly. He expects you to rely on Him.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

Cry out to Him in the midst of the overwhelm and be reminded that He never expected you to do it all alone. He wanted you to move forward in His power.

“Oh Lord, I can’t do this. I am broken and overwhelmed and don’t know where to start. I tried to do it all myself but I can’t. I’m sorry for thinking I needed to do this alone. Help me stand up and show me where to start. Give me the strength to do just one small thing.”

Step 3: Just do the next right thing

Then do one small thing. Maybe that one small thing is to switch over laundry (or run the washer again if the load has gotten that musty smell). Maybe it is to make your bed. Maybe you want to just fill the dishwasher. A small task, no more than 5 minutes. Then count yourself successful. You did it! You deflated one of those balls of guilt.

If you want to keep going then go ahead. But if that’s all you can do right now, congratulations! You’ve taken the first step toward freedom.

Moms of littles: What about how to catch up on housework when your hands are continually full of a baby?

I hear ya Mama! Babywearing is often the only way I get things done these days. So, after I have nursed her, I’ll put my baby on my back (after 5 kids I’ve learned that a soft structured carrier like this one is the easiest thing for back carries!) and get it done. So, with my baby on my back, I’ll scrub my crockpot. If I’m up to it maybe I’ll switch over the laundry too. And because she is on my back and wants me to keep moving, I may force myself to find other small tasks that I can do to keep her content. I won’t catch up on housework today but I’ll be one step closer. 

So let me know in the comments, what is your next right thing?