I am scatterbrained. I am one if those people that will run out to the car and back to the house 3 times because I forget things like keys, diaper bag, and once even the baby. True story! Don’t worry, I realized I didn’t have him before I actually reached the car and, in all fairness, he was only a couple months old so I was still new to the mothering thing.
I can also be a perfectionist. This is a very bad combination. I am not one of those people that is a natural born housekeeper. Though I crave organization, I find it very difficult to achieve.
I used to be organized. When I was a child, I made my bed every morning and placed all my stuffed animals in their proper spots on my bed. When it was bedtime, I placed those same stuffed animals on the floor surrounding my bed to they could “guard” as I slept (I have no idea why I thought I needed their protection through the night). I was up at 6am so I could do my homework in peace, tidy my room, and have a really great (and long) shower. Life was great when all I had to do was organize my stuffies.
My whole adult life has been much more chaotic. It didn’t help that when I moved out of my parents’ house and became a home manager and wife all in the same breath. I had done my chores growing up but I really had no idea how to run a household.
Insert several years of floundering with household management (everything except the financial end anyway, I have always been good with budgeting).
Insert baby #1 and becoming a SAHM. Soon my son began to crawl and keeping my floors clean became my number one priority. Then he began to eat solids and cooking became a necessity. I started scraping by. Eventually I became pregnant again and realized that as excited as I was about it, I had no idea how I was going to add another child into my wonderful life and crazy household.
I read somewhere that if you have less stuff then you have less stuff to take care of.  So we dejunked. It was a little bit easier (I didn’t have to show people a “junk room” when I gave them the grand tour) but housekeeping was still tough. Correction, it is still tough. I used to feel embarassed about my home and did the “mad woman cleaning blitz” anytime a friend came over. I also tried to avoid inviting people over to my house as often as possible and would go to their house to visit instead (some of my friends are nodding their heads while they read this, realizing they have never, or rarely, seen my home). About a year ago, I realized this was silly.
My mom told me this (true) story one time: Mom had three little kids (a total of less than 3.5 years between the oldest and youngest) and had just moved. There was something about kitchen renovations going on as well. Her friend called her and let my mom know that she was on her way to visit. As much as mom looked forward to seeing this friend, she looked around her kitchen with horror. This friend was a little bit of a neat freak. To the point that she was bordering on OCD. Mom panicked. She hadn’t fully moved in yet so several cupboards were still empty. So all the dirty pots, pans, and dishes got stuffed in the cupboards and she closed the doors. A quick wipe of the counter and the kitchen looked spotless. Mom was feeling pretty good about the whole thing.
In walks her friend.
Keep in mind that this was a new (to us) home. This friend is OCD about dirt and dust. This friend is also kind of a snooper. So she started opening the kitchen cupboards. One by one she opened, looked inside, and shut the door. Mom held her breath and tried to think of a way to distract her friend. Her friend opened the cupboards with the dirty dishes, looked, didn’t say a word, and closed them again.
Moral of the story: If this particular friend of my mom (and believe me when I say her own house is immaculate and pretty much always has been) didn’t say anything about the dirty dishes in the cupboard, chances are none of your friends are going to say anything about the dust on your TV or the sand on your floors of the dishes in your sink. Because trust me when I say we all have it. Even my most organized friends have dirt on their floors.
The bad news: My home is not perfect and never will be. The good news: I’m getting better. I am slowly building a system that works for me. A system that helps me track what I need to do on a regular basis but gives me enough flexibility for when life hiccups and my schedule is no longer my own. I can’t begin to describe the freedom that I have knowing that I don’t have to clean the bathroom today because it is on the docket for Monday. And isn’t that what having a clean home is really about, freedom? Mental, physical and even spiritual freedom?
So tell me, are you naturally organized or do your flounder and scrape by? Or better yet, have you found a system that works for you and your family?
I’ve battled with this too. I’ve never been a “clean freak” but I do like organization and everything in it’s place. I always have dishes in my sink and toys scattered around the house. I don’t make beds and the floors definitely do not get cleaned on a regular basis. I vacuum once maybe twice a week and there’s almost always dust on the shelves. I too struggle with caring about the opinions of friends/family when it comes to the cleanliness of my house. I think I’ve found a balance…dirty floors – no problem, a few dishes in the sink – that’s okay (I have a “dishwasher wanted” sign posted in my kitchen), unmade beds – who cares, toys scattered – I have kids!…The balance I have found is that it’s all okay in moderation. Every few days I skip the dishes and the laundry and just play/relax. People aren’t allowed over on those days. They are reserved just for me. When I host playdates or birthday parties, I go all out…snacks, games, crafts, make the beds…that’s my thing, I plan, I do. I don’t expect people to clean up after an event, why? Because I like things in certain places/done certain ways. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate their efforts, but it’s just “easier” if I do it later. I often worry what my kids are learning from my lack of housekeeping skills, but I also know that in the next few years, things will be easier. The kids will be able to help just that much more and maybe the beds will get made every morning. Only time can tell……
I have my heavy housekeeping day on Monday. I plan nothing other than being home and cleaning. Monday evenings are typically a good day to drop by. By Tuesday things have fallen apart again. Don’t drop by on a Tuesday lol!
I was borderline OCD until I had my third child. I mean, the shampoo had a certain spot in the shower, and you better not put it anywhere else! Now I just have panic attacks about how dirty my house is, and can’t wait until the last one is big enough that all of them can help me clean. I have no idea how some people do it,the clutter in my home drives me crazy. Someday I will have a house with a basement and all the clutter can be hidden away 🙂
I remember your house when I went there before B was born. You are one of those people that should never visit my house out of shame 🙂 This phase will pass. I read in an organization book that moms with toddlers underfoot are the only ones who have an excuse to have things on their floor. You have a few toddlers so you’re allowed to have lots of stuff on the floor! I tell myself that even if things are dirty, it is a different dirt than it was last week.