by Tessa | Homemaking
Here’s a simple thing that stops me from spending money I don’t have:
I have a list of things I want to buy.
If I see something I like, I write it down (often in detail with place and price). It allows me to recognize the desire to have that item, but I haven’t actually bought it. Sometimes I look at my list and am able to check some things off that I did save up for to buy over a time period. I only buy items on that list if I am able to pay cash, outside of our main budget. Because my list is digital, (I love Evernote!) I am easily able to update it if there was a sale price or if I found it cheaper at another place and add a link or two so I can keep an eye on it.
Two perks of this method: I don’t spend money that I don’t have and, when I do finally buy the item, I don’t have buyer’s remorse because I know that I got the best price on something that I have wanted for a long time.
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by Tessa | Homemaking
We have all had experiences when we go to someone’s house and we feel comfortable. We have all experienced visits ending with a feeling of relief at being able to leave.
Some women hustle about when they have a guest, making sure that all their needs are tended. Appetizers, cup of tea, perfectly smelling bathrooms and more. Other women forget to offer a drink, don’t have any appetizers in the house, and their bathrooms don’t smell like lavender and roses. Society would like us to believe that the first woman was an impeccable hostess and the second woman is a failure. This standard can often prevent us from inviting people into our homes.
Putting society’s expectations aside, which home would be more inviting for a friend to visit? The truth is that either of these women could make their guests feel welcome and either could cause them to feel unwelcome.
I’m not an expert on hostessing because we don’t often have company over. (We live in the country so it is often easier for us to go into town to get in some visiting at the same time as running errands.) I have, however, had the privilege of being a guest in a number of different homes.
I have learned that how tidy a home is and the speed that my needs are met have very little to do with an enjoyable visit.
I have walked out of untidy and dirty homes where I wasn’t offered so much as a glass of water and, yet, have felt like the visit was rewarding and refreshing. I have also visited houses where, according to society, the hostess did everything by the book, only to have be breathe a sigh of relief as I walk out the door. There is one main factor that determines a good hostess from a bad one: focus.
The Gospels tell us a story of Mary and Martha. Martha is the bustling hostess who gets upset with her sister for not helping out. Which one does Jesus admonish? Martha. Mary’s focus was exactly where it should have been: on Jesus.
When we have a guest in our home, they deserve the best form us. Think of the purpose of their visit: Did they come for the tea or did they come for you?
Some women are effortlessly able to put on tea and appetizers and light a candle in the bathroom without you even noticing. It feels like their focus has been on you the entire visit. Others get so distracted but doing all of their “hostessing duties” that you feel like their to do list is more important than you.
So the next time you have a guest, remember the reason for the visit. Take the time to really focus on the person, instead of the role. We may not have Jesus in our living room, but we do have someone who is made in His image. And I can guarantee that they will remember the warmth of your conversation with more clarity than they will remember the warmth of their tea!
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by Tessa | Homemaking
I don’t often require childcare for my children but, when I do, I know where to find it. If I’m desperate (like the time my friend called to tell me she was in labour and I needed to get to her house right away) I know who I can call. If I need help folding laundry, I know who to ask. I know who would be willing and able to bring my family a meal if I was sick and unable to cook. I even put out a request recently to one of my local groups to help support a friend in her business and the result was absolutely incredible! I have built some pretty amazing friendships in this area and have never had to feel like I’m in this battle journey of motherhood alone.
The value of support has really hit home this last week for two reasons: First, it occurred to me that we could be moving as soon as 2-3 weeks; and second, a mom posted in a local group about how she didn’t feel like she had the support and encouragement she needs. (The group really stepped up with such an accepting and non-judgemental attitude that I believe this wonderful Mama found the love and support she was missing.)
I know that many of my friendships will stay strong even after I move away but things will change. They physically will not be able to support me in the same way (and I won’t be able to support them in the same way either, which is an even harder thought!). There is something to be said for having a neighbor nearby that you can count on.
Though I’m a little nervous about reaching out and developing a whole new local support system, I need to make it a priority.
A local support community isn’t something that just happens. Bake a pie, head over to your neighbors’ house and introduce yourself. Take some time to get to know them and learn what’s important to them. Then offer help with no expectations that they will return the favour because, in most cases, they won’t. And that’s okay. Because most people don’t even understand what community is anymore. If you want community, you need to show those around you what a community is. Community is about going the extra mile to make someone else’s life easier. Keep doing that and you’ll eventually stumble upon someone with the same mindset. It takes time and you may frequently need to step out of your comfort zone. But it will be worth it. And for those of us who are not the type of personality to throw a community BBQ, we can build it up one person at a time.
I read a lot of books about the Amish lifestyle and one of the most admirable things is their sense of community. The women have quilting bees and if someone’s barn burns down, the community gets together and has a barn raising. What have you done to show those around you the value of community? Any tips for me? Also, do you know who would come out to help when you need a barn raising?
by Tessa | Homemaking
I have a crab apple tree. It is nestled comfortable between my maple trees. For four summers I have watch those tart little apples drop to the ground and sit there, undisturbed, while they compost throughout the winter. I planned to let the same thing happen again this year because I didn’t think they had any purpose other than to feed the birds. Then I had this wonderfully terrible thought: why don’t I “Google” it?
Crab apples make very good crab apple butter. I was recently given a jar of apple butter by a friend and it tasted like apple pie on toast. I LOVE apple pie! (If you are local and want to give me one I won’t turn you down!)
Here is the story of my quest for apple butter:
1. Go to Google to find a recipe.
2. Google how to get the apples off the tree and discover that I’m supposed to shake them off. They make it sound so easy. It is, in fact, quite a workout. Put on a long sleeved shirt (the branches scratch something fierce!) or hire someone with strong, energetic arms (I told my husband that it would be a great family bonding activity). Plus get a couple of adorable little boogs with buckets to pick them up. Dump trucks work too. 
3. The recipe told me to cut off blossoms and stems: You could probably just take a shortcut and leave the blossoms. You’re going to strain them out anyway. And give yourself some time! Estimated time: 3.5 hours.
4. Cover with water and cook till really mushy: Make sure that the correct burner is on so you don’t accidentally burn your nice bamboo mixer. Estimated cooking time: (not including the burner mistake) 2 hours.
5. Strain: Wow There has got to be an easier way! The recipe called for a “coarse” sieve so, naturally, I grabbed my fine metal one. Decided it was taking too long so I upped the ante: my blue coarse pasta strainer. That one was not sturdy enough for me to mash through. Grabbed my big metal colander. Worked decently but took forever! The holes were in the wrong spot. So I downgraded again to my blue one. Nope, still not sturdy enough. Back to the fine mesh metal one. I should have just stuck with this one because it ended up being the simplest to use. Grabbed my spatula and started mashing. Then went to bed, woke up, did chores, and mashed some more.
Estimated time to strain all the apples: 4 hours
6. Spice, sugar and cook: I figured it was all downhill from here. All I had to do was add some spices and cook it, right? Well, I have a few tips:
- It splatters. A lot. I managed to get burned. Several times. (Then I got smart and started using an oven mitt while mixing it). I’m so glad that my aloe vera plant managed to recover from it’s near death experience after I first bought it. It’s coming in really handy.
- Also, the recipe told me it would need to simmer for 2 hours. That’s a little off. Mine simmered for a total of 24 hours. Note to self (and anyone else who makes it this far in their quest for apple butter): If it still looks like apple sauce, don’t try to can it! I was super excited after two hours to get out my jars and have my first try at canning. I had my pots all ready, tools within reach, filled my jars, and then had a thought: What is the difference between apple butter and apple sauce? So I Googled it. The difference is very small: To make apple butter you add spices and simmer longer. Much, much longer. I poured my apple sauce back into my pot.
- You get a much better texture if you blend it. I used my stick mixer but you can use whatever you have on hand.
7. Canning: The simplest way that I could find to tell if the apple sauce has turned into apple butter is to put a teaspoon on the counter and wait for 5 minutes. If there is no water pooling around it then it’s ready to can. Since I had never even seen someone else can anything I needed to give myself a quick tutorial. So, of course, I went to my trusty friend, Google. I was lucky enough to find out that somewhere along the way I managed to acquire some tools for canning (jar lifting tongs and a metal rack for the bottom of my pot). I still have no idea where they came from but I’m glad that I kept them!
8. Enjoy: I used 2 cup jars and have 7.5 of them. I’m not ready to look at them yet. Maybe when my burns heal and the rest of the crab apples fall of the tree I will be ready to move to this stage. I thought I might give the jars as gifts but, as much as I don’t even want to look at them right now, I’m going to be selfish. I worked hard for that butter and one day I’m going to enjoy it!
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by Tessa | Homemaking
It has occured to me how complicated we can make our effort to living simply. We feel that we need to do it all and then some. We read blogs and books and feel like if we aren’t growing everything we eat and making everything we use, we must be doing something wrong. This revelation came to me when I was reading an article on how to simplify your DIY.
Or maybe I’m just talking about myself here. I know that I have a tendency to over complicate things. I have a wonderfully annoying habit of researching the pants off of anything and then trying to dive in head first. I really should remember what my goals are for changing our lifestyle.
I have a number of reasons: frugality, health, appreciating the simple things, teach my kids the importance of work and more. But, when I dream about my goals for my life, I don’t picture money in the bank, or being superfit/healthy. I picture being able to take the time to enjoy my family. Working alongside them without being tied down by the craziness of this world. Slowing down. Peace.
Now I need to ask myself, will what I’m doing lead me to that life? I’m pretty sure that, if I attempted to learn and do everything at once (garden, canning, herbalism, soap making, cheese making, weaving, knitting, sewing, building and wood working and the list goes on) that I would just burn out. We are not designed to do it all. And very few people are able to dive in head first without drowning. That doesn’t sound very peaceful to me.
So, instead of my grand plan for our garden this year, I managed to move one step further than last year. The only vegetables I planted were tomatoes and carrots. Oh, and onions because I saw an idea on pinterest and thought it would be a simple way to use up the space where I planted my chamomile (that didn’t come up). I planted in containers because I figured it made sense to have a portable garden due to our impending move. I watered with a bucket from my kitchen sink because I have no faucet on my house. And I watched and waited. I did very minimal weeding (one of my favorite parts of container gardening) and only a little bit of fertilizing.
My garden took about 10 minutes to care for every couple of days and I didn’t lose my mind. I learned a lot about growing tomatoes and carrots. I didn’t get a huge and bountiful crop this year but I did manage to learn enough to point me in the right direction for next year’s garden.
Next year my goal is small: plant enough of a garden so I don’t need to buy veggies through the growing season. If that goes well, the year after next I’ll plant enough so that we can store some for the winter.
But, for now, 10 minutes extra into my schedule is simple. Because simplifying should be simple to do.Another couple great posts that I have recently read that are great grounders when you’re feeling overwhelmed or like you’re not doing enough:
How Do you Know When You Are Natural Enough? (Cheeky Bums Blog)
dear sweet mom who feels like she is failing (Finding Joy)
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Here’s a simple thing that stops me from spending money I don’t have:
