by Tessa | Motherhood
There are way to many great topics to cover when it comes to the letter “B.” It was so difficult for me to choose just one! So I didn’t. Here’s my “quick tips” for mothers to cover a few of my favorite “B” topics:
Bedsharing: It can be a great way for a breastfeeding mother to get more sleep. Some moms find that it works best with baby in a cradle/crib beside the bed so they can easily grab the baby when needed. Others find that they can get a bed rail or push their bed against a wall to eliminate the falling hazard. Still others (my family included) take a side of the crib and “side-car” the crib to the bed.
Bedsharing has way to many benefits to list (trust me, people have written whole entire books full of the mental, emotional, and physical benefits to the mother, baby, and the entire rest of the family!) but the two typical ones that are focused on are to enhance the breastfeeding relationship and allow the mother more sleep. (Whether you’re bed-sharing or not, here are some great tips on how to survive on interrupted sleep.)
Sleeping near/with baby means you will produce more milk due to the physical closeness and the frequency of relaxed nursing. It also means that your sleep cycles will sync. In other words, you will both enter that light stage of sleep at the same time and you’ll find that you wake up seconds before your child does. You’ll wake up at a natural part of your sleep cycle so, even if you’re waking several times in the night, you will be more refreshed in the morning than if you had to be interrupted our of a deep sleep to walk to another room to tend to your child. Here’s a post I read a while back about one mom’s journey with the family bed.
Breastfeeding: One of the most important tips to having a successful breastfeeding relationship is to get good support. Husbands are often the number one determining factor of the success and duration of a mother/child breastfeeding relationship. Another great place to get support for your breastfeeding relationship is through La Leche League. The leaders are not only trained to give information and support for breastfeeding, they are also mothers who have been there and done that. They are able to draw off of their personal experience as well as the experiences of many other mothers. Besides all the health benefits of breastfeeding, it has a myriad of emotional benefits to mom and baby too. These benefits apply no matter the age of your nursling. (Great breastfeeding sites are La Leche League International and Kelly Mom)
Babywearing: You can never carry your baby too much. There are a variety of carriers to choose from so find something that works for your body and carrying style. My favorite is the ring sling. I love it because it’s simple to use (both my mom and my mother-in-law figured it out on their own!), portable (takes up very little space in my diaper bag), easy on and off (great for when toddlers want up and down), cooler in the summer, (less fabric than other carriers), simple to nurse in (just loosen a bit and scootch baby into position), and easy to take off when baby is still in it (so as not to disturb them when you want to lay them down while sleeping).
Interesting fact: carried time counts as tummy time. Babywearing enhances breastfeeding and milk production, encourages bonding, reduces post partum depression, increases baby’s balance and core strength, and results in a more content baby. (Here is an article that goes into benefits in more depth)
Birth: I can’t cover baby B’s without adding a quick tip for birth to the list. Quick tip: Get a midwife if you can and hire a doula. A doula’s support can be invaluable during labour (to both you and your husband) and can make the difference between having a positive birth experience and a negative one. Also, learn about birth from positive sources that believe in a woman’s ability to grow and birth her baby. Here is part one to a post that I wrote recently on the True Journey of Natural Labour and Birth. And here is part two. Birth is an amazing and beautiful journey for a woman to go through.
If you’re interested in some more great reading on these topics, check out some of the links on my Pinterest Board: Birth, Breastfeeding, and Infant Sleep or my Positive and Attachment Parenting Board. (Just a note: you do not need a Pinterest account to view the boards.)
What are your favorite quick tips and facts about the Baby “B”s?
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by Tessa | Personal Development
A first for me, I’ve been nominated for a blogger award! I have seen these floating around but never knew much about them. So I did some research into what the Sunshine Award is all about.
According to one site, the Sunshine Award is The Sunshine Award is for “bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere”.
I want to thank Steph from Burbs to Boonies for the nomination. She has blogs about her life in a small town in Kansas, USA, frugal living, healthy cooking, encouragement parenting, co-schooling or supplementing public school education, modern day hunting and gathering, living by faith and getting families outdoors. I love her ideas on getting families outdoors, though, judging by some of the winter activities she suggests, I don’t think Kansas winters get quite as cold as Alberta winters do!
Here are the rules for the award:
1. Acknowledge the nominating blogger.
2. Share 11 random facts about yourself.
3. Answer 11 questions the nominating blogger has created for you (my nominees, you can just answer the same ones!)
4. List bloggers (8-12) that you believe deserve some recognition and a little blogging love, usually newer or up-and-coming blogs.
5. Let all of the bloggers know that they’ve been nominated.
I’ll start with Bloggers I’d like to nominate. I’m nominating them because I enjoy reading their material and I think that you would too. There is some amazing content here by some very talented writers:
1. Adelien from Blessed Learners (and I see that I’m not the first one to nominate her!)
2. Crystal from Wisdom Seeking Mommy
3. Victoria from Creative Home Keeper
4. Tammy from Creative K Kids
5. Ashley from Joyful Thrifty Home
6. Retha from Bible Fascination
7. Stephanie from Abundant Living
8. Jennie at SelkieMum
Questions:
1. What’s your favorite meal of the day — breakfast, lunch or dinner? Breakfast. Yummy foods like pancakes, French toast, and cheesy-eggy wraps. Plus I love the fact that my husband loves to cook breakfast which means I don’t have to!
2. What’s your favorite fruit? Hmm… tough one. Maybe strawberries. Though watermelon and cold oranges or apples are great on a hot summer day.
3. When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up? I don’t remember that far back! Maybe a dairy farmer, singer, or a writer. Those were at the top of my list for most of my childhood.
4. What quality do you find most attractive in others? Honesty.
5. What’s your favorite sport? I enjoy swimming and karate but I’m not really into sports. Especially at this point in my life.
6. Gold or silver? Silver to wear, gold to win 😉
7. What’s your favorite candy? It changes depending on my mood. Right now I could go for some gummy bears. But I also love Reese bars. And vanilla Charleston Chews. And Rockets (or as Americans call them, Smarties). And marshmallow strawberries and bananas. Oooooooh Candy Corn!!!! Can’t believe I forgot about that! ….. Thinking about candy while pregnant is not a good idea! Normally I prefer salty and crunchy treats but, apparently, I prefer sweets when pregnant.
8. What’s your favorite online shopping website? Amazon. If I had a million dollars, I’d buy books.
9. What’s your pet peeve? When people complain about their life but are doing nothing to change it.
10. Winter, spring, summer or fall? Fall. There’s something about the smell and the colors, and harvesting. Cool and crisp and fresh.
11. How many pairs of shoes do you have? About 7, including farm and winter stuff.
11 Random Facts About Me:
1. I’m not very random. I plan everything, even if it’s just seconds before, I have gone over the details in my mind.
2. I love milk. Cold, white milk. I really love it. It’s delicious. I drink a lot of it.
3. I want to grow my hair out. I just love the shock factor of people when I pull waist length hair out of my jacket in the wintertime.
4. I haven’t slept more than 6.5 hours uninterrupted in about 5.5 years. That was just couple days ago. Now I’m back to the regular 2-3 hour chunks.
5. I would love to be up at 5 and have a couple hours of quiet time before the rest of the world wakes up. I truly would! But see point #4 as to why that just isn’t happening at this point in my life.
6. I love vanilla. Candles, perfume, foods, even the beautiful vanilla flower.
7. I don’t enjoy getting dirt on my hands. I would rather scrape poo in the barn than work in the garden. But, alas, my family appreciates the fresh food so gardening it is!
8. My husband and I think scary alike. At the end of the day, we rarely disagree on anything. He isn’t always as vocal about his view points but I love the strength of his convictions. And his arms… but that’s a whole other story!
9. I am the complete opposite of the mother I thought that I would be before I had C. I do so many things that I stood against (extended breastfeeding, babywearing, bed-sharing etc) and I’m so glad that God opened my eyes to the importance of attaching to your children.
10. I can’t not be running a business of some sort. I tried and my mind gets itching to do something entrepreneurial.
11. Even though I am a true blue perfectionist, I have learned the importance of picking and choosing areas to perfect that I can and cannot control. In other words, my perfectionism does not stress me out. I like to think of it as perfecting my perfectionism. I have also learned recently that perfectionism is a gift not a curse or something to change, as I’ve been told much of my life.
by Tessa | Motherhood
I’ve decided to join Marcy from Ben and Me on her journey of blogging through the alphabet. Every Monday, from A until Z, I hope to be linking up with her. Make sure that you check out the whole link up party every week because there are going to be many other great posts to check out.
Though I may not be the most experienced mother out there, I have met incredible mothers on the tail end of the journey and, through their insights, I do believe I have discovered a secret to mothering: it’s all about a person’s attitude towards mothering. Some believe that children should be seen and not heard, and they are completely shocked when their baby cries. Some believe that all babies should respond the same way to the same thing, and they are shocked when their baby turns out different than their friends’ babies. Some believe that all babies should be doing this or that by a specific age and they are proud when their baby is “ahead” or ashamed when their baby is “behind.”
Isn’t it interesting that we understand that every adult is different and has different skills, interests, and gifts, yet we expect all our children to fit into a specific mold? We have some ridiculous expectations of our children and babies and, to be honest, it can get very stressful when you try to meet all of them.
Here are some universal truths about babies and becoming a mother:
1. Your baby will need you and you are capable of meeting those needs (even if sometimes it feels like they need more than you can give).
2. Your baby will learn how to walk…. eventually.
3. Your baby will learn to sleep longer stretches….. eventually. Have you ever met a teenager who doesn’t like his/her sleep?
4. Your baby will learn to speak…..eventually. Some babies are more vocal than others and some are less. Much like some adults are more vocal than others and some are less.
5. Your baby will cry. (See point #4)
6. Your baby will be out of diapers…. eventually.
7. Your baby will get sick. A cold or fever isn’t the end of the world.
8. You will be tired. Recognize this fact and realize that, as much as it sucks, fatigue is not the end of the world. You are not entitled to 8 solid hours of sleep per night. You will impress yourself with how many years you can not only survive but learn to thrive off of interrupted sleep.
Get rid of preconceived notions about what your baby (or toddler, preschooler, school aged child, etc) should be doing. Relax and just go with the flow. Stop comparing to books and charts and, especially, to other babies you know. Your baby is unique and will therefore choose his/her own unique growth and development curve. The only one that your baby should be compared to is him/herself. Is progress being made? Why or why not?
Make the decision that when you hit a rough patch, it isn’t because your baby is broken or you are incapable of caring for him/her. It is because there are ups and downs in everyone’s life, including your baby’s.
Good news for when you’re in a rough patch: This is a phase, this too shall pass.
Bad news for when things are flowing smoothly: This is a phase, this too shall pass.
The biggest challenge is to develop an attitude towards mothering that will see you through all the highs and lows.
Step 1: Commit. You’re in for the long haul so you can either choose to be miserable for the long haul or choose to appreciate the beauty that comes with this wonderful privilege of mothering.
Step 2: Listen to your Baby. I’m not advocating that you ignore medical advice, or even advice from well meaning loved ones, but I am advocating that you listen to your child first and foremost. The more you listen to your mother’s intuition from the beginning, the more you’ll be able to discern whether someone’s advice applies to you and your situation.
Step 3: Seek encouragement. Find a friend, or group of friends, who will encourage you to listen to your baby instead of to them. Keep in mind that encouragement and advice are two very different things. Most moms already know what they should be doing and just need to be encouraged to do it.
There’s a simple 3 step plan to developing an attitude towards mothering that will put you on a significantly smoother path than comparisons and unrealistic expectations will.
What is one of the biggest preconceived notions that you have had to let go of since becoming a mother?
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by Tessa | Personal Development
We all have a little voice in our head that whispers to us throughout the day. Sometimes it tells us that we are doing awesome. Other times it tells us that we aren’t working hard enough, or aren’t giving our children enough time, or our product/business/service isn’t good enough.
Habits take 21 days to make and far longer to break. So instead of trying to break the habit of negative self-talk, why don’t we replace it with positive self-talk? Let’s make it a habit to encourage ourselves.
Head over to Thinking Outside the Sandbox to read the rest of this post and to get some simple and practical tips on how to increase your confidence in yourself and your business!
by Tessa | Homemaking
Head over to my Facebook page to access my free planner printable available to my fans!
Last week I shared some of the things that I’ve learned about myself while doing research on how to get my life and home organized before my family welcomes another addition in November. I promised to share with you this week what I’ve learned about home management binders. So I’ll dive right in:
Even though all those free printables and different section ideas are very tempting, I don’t need them all. Some things come more naturally to me than others. I don’t need to organize areas of my life that are already organized. For example: My bill paying and savings plans are second nature to me. They don’t require a section in my binder. I also don’t have any need for a lot of space for appointments because, let’s face it, my schedule on paper is very boring. I made and tried a daily planner. I had used a two-page-per-day planner for years before I had children so I thought this would be the best method for me, but found that it was just not working this time around. Then I read this article about different levels of planners and it became clear to me what the problem was. I was much like her and started off with the “nerd planner” when I really only needed a Week-at-a-glance. I have found it makes more sense for me as my tasks are not usually day dependent because the amount I can do in a day varies so much.
I have since upgraded to a color printer so my weekly pages are color coded into different sections. Keeping the boxes and line space to smaller amounts has meant that I can only add so many tasks to my list, so as not to overwhelm myself. I took a lot of inspiration from the Uncalendar and tweaked this idea to suit my personal and business life. First, I made a list of things I wanted to keep track of: personal to do, blog to do, kids to do, meals, habits I’m working on, people I need to get in touch with, a weekly memory/focus verse and a simple “catch all” area for when I don’t want to pull out the specific list or project sheet for thoughts that pop into my head. That’s a lot of information that I was trying to get out of my head and onto paper!
I also have a very simple list of regular housekeeping tasks, broken down into daily, weekly, and monthly. I put them in a page protector and I just lay it on top of my binder. One side has my brief daily list and a section for each day of the week. On the reverse side I have a 4 week rotation of monthly tasks and I will choose one week at a time to complete. I found it much simpler to make my own lists rather than print or purchase those made by someone else because, others’ lists just don’t suit me. There are certain cleaning tasks that I just don’t care about (at least in this stage of my life) and I do different things on different days than or not as frequently as premade lists tell me.
I’ve been using my weekly calendar for a few weeks and it has been working very well. I leave it open on my counter so I can see it and add to it throughout the day. This method has eliminated the need for me to write out my to do list every evening and transfer everything that I didn’t accomplish to the next day. Planning my day in advance takes just a couple of minutes and having the whole week visible allows me to shuffle tasks around easily.
I am still using a lot of the tips I learned from Planner Perfect when it comes to projects, lists, goals, and having all of my brain’s information available at my fingertips. My mind feels much less cluttered and, surprisingly, my energy levels have increased! It has been great to use this newfound energy to play more with my kids and actually stay (mostly) caught up on my housework.
Do you use a home management binder? I’d love to hear about it or see photos because I’m on a constant quest of tweaking mine to perfection.
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