Getting Children to Do Chores: 2 Mistakes Parents Make

I’m about to say something that might ruffle a few feathers, but here it is: paying your kids for chores and using age-specific chore charts don’t work. I know, these are popular methods that many parents swear by, but hear me out: these approaches can actually make life harder for you and your kids. If you’ve tried them but still end up fighting to get your children to do chores, you’re not alone.

Let’s dive into why these methods fall short and what you can do instead to make chores less of a battle and more of a breeze.

Mistake #1: Paying for Chores

First up: paying your kids to do chores. I’ve been there—trying to motivate my kids with “mom-quarters” that they could earn and spend at the mom-market. I even created a whole system where they could shop for little prizes. Sounds fun, right? Well, it worked… for about a week. Then I started finding those paper quarters crumpled up under the couch, and my once-excited kids were over it.

Next, I tried using screen time as a reward. But guess what? Some of my kids decided they didn’t really care about watching a show, so they’d skip the screen time—and the chores. The novelty wore off quickly, and the tasks still needed to be done! The problem with tying rewards to chores is that it gives kids the option to weigh whether the reward is worth the effort. But here’s the thing: chores aren’t optional.

Mistake #2: Relying on Age-Specific Chore Charts

Next, let’s chat about those age-specific chore charts. I can’t tell you how many of those I’ve tried! They look great on paper but often miss the mark in real life. Kids develop at different rates, and a chart might not always align with what your family needs. Instead of sticking to someone else’s chart, try focusing on tasks that matter to you and fit your child’s abilities. Your little ones might surprise you with what they can handle if you give them a chance!

What Actually Works to Get Kids to Do Chores?

Building a Culture of Teamwork

Forget the rewards and rigid charts—aim for a family culture of teamwork.

When everyone feels like a valuable part of the team, and homecare is a natural part of your life, there’s much less resistance when it’s time to clean the kitchen or sweep the floors. I won’t lie and say that attitudes are always sunshine and roses about it, but everyone know that they job must be done and so everyone learns to contribute, with minimal grumbling (yes, even teenagers can learn this!).

This starts with a change in your mindset. When you see chores as an opportunity to teach and connect with your kids, it shifts the dynamic. Next, work on changing your kids’ attitudes toward home care. Show them that taking care of the home is a shared responsibility, and not something to be avoided or traded for rewards. And then take the time to properly teach them the skills to do the work.

Want to know how to make this shift without all the drama? Join me for my masterclass, “How to Get Children to Do Chores Without Fighting, Nagging, or Bribes.” I share practical tips and tricks to help you turn chore time into a smoother, more cooperative experience.

Sign up today and say goodbye to chore-time battles. Let’s make running the household a bit easier and a lot more enjoyable!