How to Become an Ideal Mother: Is it Possible?

I have been working on establishing the same morning routine with my kids for 6 years. 

 

I can’t remember where I saw the high 5 idea first but I looked back in my photos recently and saw a picture of my now 11 year old in front of the high 5 poster we still use today. Except he was 5 in the picture.

 

I have always said that consistency in motherhood is challenging for me. I am starting to believe that may not be the case. 

6 years of pushing for the same routine (that still doesn’t happen every day or without a decent amount of prodding from me) is kind of the definition of consistency. Or maybe it is closer to persistence.

 

Persistent motherhood.

 

Maybe you have changed up your routines every few months trying to find something that works. You’re still persisting. Trying, even if you don’t see massive success is still trying.

 

I have been watching videos and reading books lately about re-framing your limiting beliefs and mindset. This isn’t a new concept by any means. I learned about this process years ago, before I had kids and was working in a fast paced financial services company. Re-framing and visualization and positive self talk are things used in the business world all the time.

 

I have also learned a bit about cognitive behavioral therapy in order to understand and work through some of my depression and anxiety issues. Add to that using ideas of positive parenting for raising my children.

 

But re-framing myself as a mother is something that I have just recently started exploring.

I think it is pretty common knowledge that positive self talk and affirmations are good for our minds. (If it’s not something you’re familiar with, please let me know and I can go into more detail about how and why this works.) So why not apply this to myself (or yourself) as a mother?

 

I think that we, as mothers, are very hard on ourselves. I know many mothers compare themselves to others, whether on social media or their friends or even their own mothers. We have this ideal for what a mother should be like and do and how she should interact with the kids, keep her house, and love her husband. I have learned not to compare myself to others but I still have this ideal of what kind of a mother I want to be. 

 

A mother should be consistent in her homemaking routines and the discipline of her children. 

A mother should be patient with listening to her children and in her reactions to their misbehavior. 

A mother should encourage her children and use positive parenting techniques to build their character and self worth.

A mother’s home and schedule should be organized to provide a peaceful environment for her family and allow for the best use of her time.

A mother should be energetic enough to accomplish her tasks, teach her children their routines, and still have energy to devote to her marriage and her own passions.

 

Do any of those sound like thoughts you have had? Those are some of the expectations that I have for myself. The ideal mother. 

 

My children and husband would be quick to point out that I don’t fit those descriptions very well.  I’m inclined to agree.

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 But what if they’re wrong? What if I’m wrong?

What I mean is, what if that mother is inside of me, just figuring out how to make herself known? This is where re-framing coming in. There are some skills I need to learn and practice but why couldn’t I become this kind of mother? There are many moms with different personalities who are achieving the basics of ideals. Why not me?

 

God didn’t make me any less of a person. Sure, I have different challenges that many of you won’t have (depression, my husband’s heavy work load, health related energy issues, large family in a small house, low income, homeschooling, etc) but God allowed each of those challenges into my life so He knows about them. 

 

I can’t remember where I heard it first but we can see throughout scripture that God does not call the equipped. In fact, the people He uses in some big ways also have major struggles against sin (Abraham) and temptation (King David) and their flesh (Paul). 

 

God equips the called. 

 

He has called me to be a mother. He has put some of those ideals and desires into my heart. How could I ever think He would leave me alone to struggle through this journey? 

I AM a mother who is consistent, patient, encouraging, organized, and energetic, even if I’m still a work in progress. 

 

Who do you want to become? What are you doing to get there? Comment below with some of the ideals that you feel are inside you and waiting to come to fruition. 

If you want some guidance in how to work toward these ideals, be sure to sign up for my weekly post summary for regular encouragement and get a free printable guide that will help you choose and follow through on life changing habits!