I Don’t Want to be a Cranky Mommy

Motherhood | 7 comments

Warning: This is a true story. And it’s not a pretty one!

 

I’m trying to fix dinner. Baby Bear is fussing in his baby seat. Then he starts screaming at me because I’ve left him too long. So I grab him and hope the pasta doesn’t boil over.

Then C comes in the house, asks what’s for supper, “Homemade macaroni and cheese with Grandma’s ham” I say. *whine* *whine* *whine* “Fine, then you can leave the house and we’ll eat supper without you.”

Biscuit comes in the house doing the potty dance. Refuses to go potty when I tell him he should. Most likely because I told him. I’m pretty sure that, if I would have kept my big mouth shut, he would have realized sooner what his body was trying to tell him. But he doesn’t, just to prove a point. Just to irk me. I tell him “Fine. If you pee in your pants then you can do your own laundry.”

I’m stressed by Baby Bear, mad at C, mad at Biscuit, and mad at myself.

Deep breaths. I don’t want to be a cranky mommy. I can’t control cranky kids but I can make different choices for my own attitude. What if someone walked into my house in the midst of these exchanges? Would they see how much I love my children? Probably not.

Deep breaths. I don’t want to be a cranky mommy. I can’t control cranky kids but I can make different choices for my own attitude. What if someone walked into my house in the midst of these exchanges? Would they see how much I love my children? Probably not. I heard a mom yell at her kids in the parking lot one time and I swore I would never do that. I only had one child at that point and C was/is a pretty compliant and content kid. Now, I’ve totally snarked at my kids in the parking lot. I’m sure people have overheard. Humbling.

 

More deep breaths. I don’t want to be a cranky mommy. I start counting my blessings: Sturdy house with a working furnace. Healthy food. Husband who will come in from work soon and help finish up supper and put kids to bed. Three absolutely beautiful boys who I wouldn’t trade for anything (most days). Parents who live next door and my Dad who regularly takes time to come over and connect with his grandsons. Friends nearby. Loving church family.

 

As I count my blessings and thank God for them, amazing things start to happen.

My heartbeat starts slowing down and breaths become easier to take. C takes Baby Bear, who I have had to put back in his seat to deal with the boiling pasta, and gets him giggling within seconds. C has a true gift for making people feel good and Baby Bear has a ridiculosly contageous laugh. Biscuit heads outside, still wearing clean pants. He potty trained himself just after his second birthday. He hasn’t actually had an accident in ages.

It’s not always easy to stay calm and loving when it feels like things around are spinning out of control. My older two have seen me struggle with postpartum depression and, unfortunately, seen cranky/angry mommy more often than I would like to admit. But God is merciful and has forgiven me. (As have my boys.) He is also the Healer of my soul and He continually works in my heart and body to keep depression at bay. Much of my cranky behavior is due to bad habits I have picked up during some of the low points of my life.

Resources:

 Confessions of a Yelling Mom (Now Reformed) – Lisa, from Club 31 Woman, shares a bit of her story of how she overcame her habit of yelling to develop a habit of peace.

5 Ways to Overcome the Yelling Mom
– Jamerill, at The Better Mom, explains how motherhood can magnify the sinful flesh and shares her best tips to continue growing toward becoming a more gentle, peaceful, patient, and loving mother.

How to Control Your Emotions, So They Don’t Control You
by Brooke McGlothlin – a practical, highly usable, biblical model for submitting your emotions to the authority of the Word of God. After you read it, you’ll be equipped with information you can put into place immediately to start seeing a difference in your heart.

She’s Gonna Blow!
by Julie Ann Barnhill – For every mom seeking here-and-now hope and help to…find healthier ways of expressing anger; let go of “control” issues and be more positive; and draw closer to the God who created moms and mothering.

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