by Tessa | Faith
My husband and I have been reading “The Love Dare Day by Day: A Year of Devotions for Couples” in the evenings after the children are asleep. Not every night, but we’ve just started and we’re trying to make it a new habit. Anyway, the first week is about love. Asking God to teach us about real love and how to be a more loving person. I think that we can all learn more about what it really means to be a loving person.
This verse is a great reminder that you can do all the right things, go through all the right motions, but it means nothing if your heart isn’t in the right place. I don’t think it gets more simple than that. At the end of the day, God will want to know, “How did you live out My love today?”
by Tessa | Faith
I told my friend that “I didn’t leave because of a difference of opinion, I left because of a difference of character.” She had sent me a note to say she missed seeing me in a community we both belonged too and to ask how things had been going with me. She saw the conversation that took place and resulted in me leaving. I think the whole community probably did. It was a doozy!
Let me explain a bit about what happened:
There was an opinion shared by a community member and several of the other members chimed in and said they agreed with her. I disagreed with the opinion and said so. In the past, difference of opinions in this particular community has led to some lively debate about why we felt the way we did and ended on a very respectful note of agreeing to disagree. How I hoped this would be another one of those instances! Unfortunately, it was not to be.
I was instantly attacked. Insulted. Belittled. Misjudged. The whole nine yards.
The irony of the situation was that this whole discussion was over accepting differences between people, and about showing tolerance and love. The popular opinion said that you had to agree with something in order to be viewed as societally correct or accepted, or treated with any sort of dignity. I, on the other hand, believe that agreeing about the matter at hand is irrelevant. I believe that, even if you disagree with someone, they still deserve to be treated with respect and responded to in love.
While several people in this community were preaching to me about how I should tolerate and love everyone, they chose not to practice it.
I’m sharing this to remind you (and myself) that there will be times when our belief system will be tested. Words are only as good as the actions we follow them up with.
James 2:18 reminds us of this:
But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds.
James also tells us, in chpt 1:2-3:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
This was certainly a trial and I can tell you that I did not consider going through it pure joy. It was hard to be treated in such a way by people who I thought were my friends. The feelings of joy were a little slow in coming. I found joy later in the fact that a few other community members told me that they disagreed with the way I was treated an were ashamed on behalf of the community. I appreciated their support. I have also felt a weight lifted from my shoulders because leaving this community has allowed me the time to step into different communities and move into new roles that God is calling me to fulfill.
In the meantime, I will choose to follow God’s Word, in spite of the fact that it is no longer viewed as politically correct.
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by Tessa | Homemaking
We have all had experiences when we go to someone’s house and we feel comfortable. We have all experienced visits ending with a feeling of relief at being able to leave.
Some women hustle about when they have a guest, making sure that all their needs are tended. Appetizers, cup of tea, perfectly smelling bathrooms and more. Other women forget to offer a drink, don’t have any appetizers in the house, and their bathrooms don’t smell like lavender and roses. Society would like us to believe that the first woman was an impeccable hostess and the second woman is a failure. This standard can often prevent us from inviting people into our homes.
Putting society’s expectations aside, which home would be more inviting for a friend to visit? The truth is that either of these women could make their guests feel welcome and either could cause them to feel unwelcome.
I’m not an expert on hostessing because we don’t often have company over. (We live in the country so it is often easier for us to go into town to get in some visiting at the same time as running errands.) I have, however, had the privilege of being a guest in a number of different homes.
I have learned that how tidy a home is and the speed that my needs are met have very little to do with an enjoyable visit.
I have walked out of untidy and dirty homes where I wasn’t offered so much as a glass of water and, yet, have felt like the visit was rewarding and refreshing. I have also visited houses where, according to society, the hostess did everything by the book, only to have be breathe a sigh of relief as I walk out the door. There is one main factor that determines a good hostess from a bad one: focus.
The Gospels tell us a story of Mary and Martha. Martha is the bustling hostess who gets upset with her sister for not helping out. Which one does Jesus admonish? Martha. Mary’s focus was exactly where it should have been: on Jesus.
When we have a guest in our home, they deserve the best form us. Think of the purpose of their visit: Did they come for the tea or did they come for you?
Some women are effortlessly able to put on tea and appetizers and light a candle in the bathroom without you even noticing. It feels like their focus has been on you the entire visit. Others get so distracted but doing all of their “hostessing duties” that you feel like their to do list is more important than you.
So the next time you have a guest, remember the reason for the visit. Take the time to really focus on the person, instead of the role. We may not have Jesus in our living room, but we do have someone who is made in His image. And I can guarantee that they will remember the warmth of your conversation with more clarity than they will remember the warmth of their tea!
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My husband and I have been reading “The Love Dare Day by Day: A Year of Devotions for Couples” in the evenings after the children are asleep. Not every night, but we’ve just started and we’re trying to make it a new habit. Anyway, the first week is about love. Asking God to teach us about real love and how to be a more loving person. I think that we can all learn more about what it really means to be a loving person.
