by Tessa | Faith
We do not run our family as a democracy. We respect each other and listen to everyone’s thoughts and opinions, but the final decision is not based on majority.
Sometimes the majority is wrong.
This is why I married a man who is after God’s heart and listens to His voice. I can’t say that I’ve always agreed with his judgment on certain things (and you can be certain that I let him know when I don’t) but I have always agreed that he is the head of our household. He has different insights than I do and, most importantly, it is His God given role. Does this mean he “rules” over us with an iron fist? Absolutely not. There are areas where I take the lead and there are areas where he does. We discuss things to come to conclusions that work for all. We make use of each other’s strengths and even give our children the chance to speak up and voice their thoughts on certain things.
A family is a unit. It works best when it works together. But, at the end of the day, everyone still knows that my husband is the leader. And I trust that God has provided our family with a leader worth following. After all, with my husband keeping his eye on the Lord, he is headed in the right direction.
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by Tessa | Motherhood
According to Wikipedia, “The primary defining characteristic of shyness is a largely ego-driven fear of what other people will think of a person’s behavior, which results in the person becoming scared of doing or saying what he or she wants to, out of fear of negative reactions, criticism, rejection, and simply opting to avoid social situations instead.”
I was called “shy” frequently while growing up.
The truth is that I wasn’t. I simply chose not to speak in certain situations. If I wanted a straw for my drink at a restaurant, I asked my sister to ask the waitress. I was perfectly capable of asking but made the choice not to. I didn’t speak in class at school because a)it was against the rules and b) I didn’t have that strong a desire to be heard by the people in my class.
The problem was that, after being told that I was shy for so long, I eventually started to believe it, and act accordingly. By Jr High I decided it was better to be named shy than have to expend the energy in being friendly to everyone. Only my close friends knew that I was anything but quiet. Unfortunately, this more quiet public demeanor also earned me some other labels. Labels such as snob or stuck-up, anti-social, boring, etc.
Then came the work force. Low and behold, one of my first jobs was waitressing. If you know any truly shy people (or perhaps you’re shy yourself!), you will wonder how in the world a “shy” person ended up in such a social job. And I was good at it. Once I got the hang of writing down orders in such a way as to please the cooks, I thrived. Customers loved me and told me so and my tips were nearly always higher than those of the other waitresses (I’m not saying that to boast, just to make a point). I came home exhausted and needing some serious quiet time to recharge but I truly enjoyed chatting with my customers, new and regular.
My next career was with a company that required a lot of personal skills. I learned a lot with that company about marketing and sales, leading a team, training new people, educating a wide variety of people, and public speaking. Once again, I did very well with the social aspects of that career. Next, I started my own company. Sales again. Strangely enough, I don’t get called “shy” anymore. I am called bold, opinionated, well-spoken, sociable, outgoing, and have even been accused of talking too much! Quite the opposite of “shy.”
Some would say that I overcame my shyness. While it’s true that I have learned certain skills about communicating with people over the years, I will stand by the fact that I was never shy to begin with. I have always had strong opinions and would be bold with them if I chose to voice them and was given the chance.
I’m reminded of “Uh huh” in The Little Rascals. There is a part near the end where he talks about his extensive vocabulary and grasp of grammar and how it’s always been there. He says he “simply chose not to employ them.”
My sons are both regularly labeled shy by other people. I am always quick to correct by saying that my boys are not shy. In fact, they are quite the opposite, if they choose to be and once they are given the chance.
by Tessa | Faith
For this week’s look into the Word on Wednesday, I chose a verse about working. When your husband only gets a handful of days off each year, you have to learn to appreciate the value of hard work an find blessings within it. The fact that I, as a mother, haven’t had a single day off in over 5 years means that I go through phases of frustration between the phases of appreciation.
This verse is a great reminder to me when I’m watching my husband go to the barn and knowing that, as much as he works to support his family, his work is done to glorify God. It is a verse that God whispers into my ear when I’m grouchy about the fact that I need to wash dishes. Again. It helps me gain perspective when my toddler comes in the house after playing outside and is covered, head to toe, in mud. He (usually) has a great big smile on his face and tells me of some great adventure that he has been on. And I remind myself to be patient and appreciate that this little monkey, and all the extra laundry he creates, are part of my work for the Lord.
At this point, I don’t volunteer in church, I don’t do ministry projects and I’m not ever planning to be a missionary overseas (though if that was God’s plan for me, I would go). My mission field is my home and my family. Caring for them, mothering them, feeding them, cleaning up after (and with) them, teaching them. I do because I love them, but it is the Lord who is looking over my shoulder making sure that I’m doing His work to the best of my ability.
by Tessa | Homemaking
Here’s a simple thing that stops me from spending money I don’t have:
I have a list of things I want to buy.
If I see something I like, I write it down (often in detail with place and price). It allows me to recognize the desire to have that item, but I haven’t actually bought it. Sometimes I look at my list and am able to check some things off that I did save up for to buy over a time period. I only buy items on that list if I am able to pay cash, outside of our main budget. Because my list is digital, (I love Evernote!) I am easily able to update it if there was a sale price or if I found it cheaper at another place and add a link or two so I can keep an eye on it.
Two perks of this method: I don’t spend money that I don’t have and, when I do finally buy the item, I don’t have buyer’s remorse because I know that I got the best price on something that I have wanted for a long time.
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by Tessa | Book Notes
Title: Blogger Behave
Author: Laura Booz
Publication Date: October 23, 2011
Price: $4.99
Place Acquired: Homemaking Bundle
About the author: When Laura was younger, she dreamt of buying an old Volvo, filling it with gas, and traveling across the country. Who could have guessed that blogging would be that Volvo and her travels would be the excitement of writing and living on a farm in Pennsylvania?
These days, she has discovered that her favorite place so far is home-sweet-home. She and her family enjoy homesteading, homeschooling, and ministering to their community. It’s a small life, and it’s a good one. (Not to mention, the adorable people in her life certainly inspire some good bloggy behavior.)
Describe: The subtitle of this book is “Make your blog benefit your life so you can love both.” Laura’s purpose with this book was to show how your blog shouldn’t be a chore that is detracting from your quality of life. She wants to prove that writing a blog should not only benefit and enrich the lives of your readers, but that you should be enriched by it as well.
Analyze: Laura made some great claims in the introduction and it really propelled me forward in reading this book. The book was very easy to read and, because Laura is a blogger, she understands the importance of delivering content instead of fluff. Page after page had meat and potatoes to get you thinking about your writing and it’s place in your life. She shared information about developing a vision statement, the importance of blogging about convictions instead of theories, budgeting your time in a way that suits your specific life situation, and how to allow God to restructure your life in a way that is honoring to Him.
Evaluate: I originally read this book over a month ago. I read all the other blog-related books in the Homemaking Bundle that I bought but, for some reason, fought against reading this one until then. To be honest, I mostly started reading it because I was bored and wanted something to occupy my mind. I’m glad that I finally listened to God’s quiet prompting to read this book. In fact, I read it again last week! I enjoyed it so much the first time around that I wanted to share it with my readers as my first book review but, somewhere over the last month, I had misplaced the notes I took. Even reading it a second time was enlightening. It was the exact same information I read the first time around but, this time around, I was reading it after I had applied some of the information in it. Probably my biggest blogging take-away from this book is that God cares about each post I write. She talks about how “God is interested in the work of your hands and the thoughts of your heart.” Not only does God want to be involved in every facet of your life, your life will make so much more sense if those facets are all based of a structure with Christ at the center.
Recommendation: Even though this book was written by a blogger and for bloggers, the wisdom in it can apply to anyone’s day-to-day life. We can all use guidance on how to restructure our lives in such a way as to place God at the center. It is far to easy to get distracted by to-do lists and children’s schedules, to the point that I spend more time looking at my day planner than in God’s Word. This book is not about pursuing excellence in your skill or craft, it is about pursuing excellence in your life and character. I was convicted to make and continue with some changes in my life (exciting and scary!) and I think that others who read this book will walk away with the tools to redirect (or renew) their daily life’s journey so they can head toward the goals that God has in mind for them.
We do not run our family as a democracy. We respect each other and listen to everyone’s thoughts and opinions, but the final decision is not based on majority.
