Self Care Series Step 3: Mind

Today’s post is the last post in my self care or depression lifestyle protocol series. If you haven’t read them, you can find the first two parts of there series here: Self Care Step 1: Spiritual and Self Care Step 2: Body. Since I have started my routines and habits to care for my spirit and my body, I slowly start to work in self care for my mind.

One of the major things that I do to care for myself mentally include having a “mom safe” zone in the house. We live with 6 (almost 7) of us all day, every day, in about 1300sq ft, much less if you factor in that we don’t have toys in bedrooms. This means every inch of our house is used to the fullest capacity. As the kids are getting older they require different levels of toys and entertainment (such as keeping Lego and microscopes away from babies) and, for a long time, I prioritized them and their needs. Once I recognized that I needed even just a small area to control, I started setting some boundaries. 

 

One is that the living room floor should be tidied every evening. The kids have a play zone on the other side of the kitchen but, as is natural, toys manage to drift into the living room. I also keep toddler toys and books in the living room so littler ones are less likely to destroy Lego creations that have been left out. Add in the storage bench full of blankets and pillows and the dining chairs nearby and the living room gets turned into war bunkers or castle forts or 2 story “houses” complete with a Tonka truck garage. And did I mention the boots and coats that get kicked off in the entry and end up in the living room because the front door opens right up into my living room? And then let’s just throw in an occasional towel that has migrated from the bathroom. 

 

But every evening we focus on Tidy Time. (Yes, I just capitalized that, because it is sacred part of the rhythm of our home.) This is one of the things I started when my eldest two were toddlers so it has mostly become second nature (not that the kids never fight me on it). We do almost no screen time during the day so we “bring peace to our home” at around 5pm (though my eldest has discovered he gets more game time if he starts at 4:30pm and is done his tasks by 5pm) which looks like me picking the room or two that are causing me the most stress and getting the kids to teamwork tidy.

They tidy while I make dinner and then they get some screen time until we eat supper (between 6
and 6:30, depending on when my husband comes in from the farm). 

They get to game, I don’t have them underfoot (as much) while I make dinner, and I can spend my evening in a more peaceful room. There’s the added bonus of the fact that my bathroom is off my living room and I already have to navigate a steep, old farmhouse stairs (which have already caused a broken foot this year) so the last thing I want to do in a sleepy haze is weave through and over toys and forts. Any parent knows that stepping on Lego is incredibly painful but you don’t know until you’ve done it that stepping on a matchbox car is downright dangerous! 

I schedule in daily time to read something productive. I have no issues making time to read novels and often neglect my home and family when I get sucked into a good story. So I typically need to restrict myself there. Some people get sucked into social media scrolling or Netflix but, for me, it’s novels. When I say “productive,” I mean non fiction and usually something to educate or encourage me in my God given roles. These are books that I often can take in bite sized pieces and require thought between sections. I currently give myself the second part of my toddler’s nap time (I usually nap a bit first) to sit and read while taking some notes in the Evernote app on my phone. This 30 or so minutes of stimulating my mind like this rejuvenates me for the rest of the afternoon. The nap before and coffee while I read also help, I’m sure. 

I take one morning each week to do office work for the farm. It is about 3 hours of sitting at my mom’s house and putting my “education” to good use while my husband spends time with the kids. Before children I was in finances, largely helping families set goals, budget, and make a plan for the future. My office morning consists mostly bookkeeping data entry but, as with any business, farming requires budgets and plans as well. I don’t so much enjoy the data entry part but I love plotting the progression our farm goals and brainstorming ways to bring it there. So technically this is me going to work but I count it as mental stimulation. 

I also take a couple hours every other week do to some technical blogging stuff. I write in the mornings but laptop time to do images or formatting is in short supply. So every couple of weeks I get childcare (usually my husband at this point) to hammer out some of the more techy stuff for my blog. I love checking off those little details from my list. Such a good feeling!

 

Maybe your productive time looks like hammering out a few housekeeping tasks or getting some freezer cooking done or even giving the floors a good scrub. Do something every week that gives you that feeling of accomplishment. 

I ignored God’s call on my life for far too long. I focused on improving my marriage, mothering, homeschool, housekeeping, farming, and volunteering, which are all worthwhile and necessary pursuits, but I denied a large part of who I am, to my own detriment. 

God gives all of us certain skills and talents and he does so with the expectation that we use them. He doesnt expect us to put it all on hold when we become mothers. Sometimes these skills fall into place in our role as mothers (for example, my love of making simple routines and checklists works well for my home and homeschool lifestyle) and sometimes our skills can be expanded beyond our roles as mothers (such as the habit setting workbook I created to help YOU develop simple routines and checklists). 

We spend so much time focusing on improving our weaknesses that we often forget that we even have strengths. Take some time to figure out and name what you ARE good at in your current roles. Maybe you are an excellent cook. Or maybe you’re really good at playing with and having fun with your children (yes, this is absolutely a skill!). Do you have a great eye for fashion or decor? Do you kill it in the frugal living department? Are you interested or educated in a certain topic that most people are not well versed in but is applicable for your family? 

How can/do you use those skills to bless your family? Are you using those skills beyond your family? Do you feel called to share those skills beyond your family?

A daily prayer: Lord, please show me what skills and talents you have instilled in me and guide me in how to use those skills to bless my family. And Lord, if it is Your will, show me how I can bless those beyond my family with the gifts You have given to me. Use me to fulfill Your will. 

 

Since this is the last installment of my Self Care Series, I thought I’d make something to help you out on your own path to self care. Self care is all about creating good habits so I’ve put together a printable Habit Workbook to guide you through the process of choosing and tracking habits.