I have struggled with cycles of depression since I was a teenager. I spent some of that time feeling like I was in a deep, dark cave that I would never be able to navigate out of. I spent some of that time being medicated with pharmaceutical antidepressants. I have spent many of those years coping day-to-day but feeling like I was on the edge of that cave and making one wrong move would result in me getting lost again. 

 

I was blessed enough to have a mother with similar issues which allowed me (and her) to recognize the signs in my life and name the disorder early on. After 25 years, I’ve learned some things that have lead to more and more time in the later years spent living a life where depression is hardly more than a nuisance. I have developed some warning signs that my husband and a couple close friends recognize and a depression lifestyle protocol that helps me avoid the deepest part of the cave and live a pretty fulfilling and joy-filled life. 

I have been in charge of caring for my own home for 15 years now. I have also been a mother for over 11. This journey started out with having dishes and laundry for 2 people and now I find myself coming up on 7 people living in our home, with all except 1 being here nearly 24/7 (and even that one is in and out of the house all day). 

 

Add to that the fact that I still need to take care of myself. Pregnancies are quite a roller coaster ride for a body and new babies and toddlers take a lot out of a Mama physically and emotionally. The older my children get, the more they need me to help them develop their own good habits, skill sets, and character traits. Add on top of that the stresses of running a full time commercial dairy farm in this day and age (granted my husband does the bulk of the physical labour but we still make decisions together and I do research and finances for the business). As a cherry on top, we homeschool and are therefore responsible for … everything.

 

How is a Mama to keep going every day? Especially when the “enemy prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1Peter 5:8b NIV) (Anyone else feel like depression is a prowling enemy?)

My first priority is spiritual self care. This is often one of the first things that gets dropped, unfortunately. It seems so much easier on those exhausting mornings to grab my coffee and scroll through my email or Twitter feed. It is much easier on my brain to read tidbits rather than think full thoughts for myself. I tell myself that keeping track of the news and politics is important.

 

Is it though?

When life gets upside down and overwhelming, the last thing anyone needs is to connect more with the chaos in our world. So I put down my devices and grab an old fashioned paper notebook and my favorite pen and start small. 

 

It often takes just a few minutes for me to write out what I call my Praise and Prayer: a very simple bullet point list of three items I’m thankful for and three items I want to lift up in prayer. I don’t really have any rules surrounding this other than the “praise” can’t be the exact same day after day. In more difficult seasons I am thankful for things like fresh air, showered kids, and money in the budget for take out. And I pray daily for strength and wisdom to walk through the day. I pray for character traits for my children (when I look back a few years it is amazing how far God has brought them…. and me!)

 

When I am back in the habit of P&P, I begin reading my Bible again. Whether it is just the verse of the day in YouVersion or whether I’m feeling ambitious and attacking a Bible in a Year plan (which always takes me more than a year to get through), I slowly add this to my habit list. After a while, I try to pick at least one verse to copy into my notebook. Victoria from Creative Homekeeper has some great encouragement for writing out the Bible and it inspired me several years ago and now I can attest to the benefits of it. 

When things are going well in my life and I’m feeling energetic and my mind is clear, I even add in a bit of journaling and self reflection. This often takes on a strange combination of a written prayer interspersed with random thoughts and ideas. This is one of the few areas in my life that I don’t limit to a specific format.

 

While my children largely feed themselves breakfast as they wake up, I do often end up with a child or two… or sometime 3 to be honest, sitting in my lap. That can get very crowded! This is why I give myself a lot of time for interruptions. 

 

I and my younger two (currently 5yo and 2yo) are usually downstairs around 7:30am and they are my busy, bouncy boys. There is often toast or cereal on the table that lose a few bites every time they race their Tonka dump trucks past the kitchen table. We don’t officially move onto the next part of our routine until about 9am. This gives my older two time to wake up on their own and have some quiet time in their bed or on the couch with me, watching with wonder as their younger brothers fill the house with sunshine and giggles. Sometimes my 8yo makes himself a cup of tea during this time. (He is convinced he should be allowed to drink a morning coffee already so tea is his compromise.)

 

Side note: I am always interested in how other people structure their day so I will be sure to share in the near future about our home rhythms and how I’m attempting to create good lifelong habits in my kids. It all starts with “baby shark do do do do…”

 

So that about sums up what is always my first go-to habit to re-develop when life gets off the rails. I have large gaps in my P&P notebook and, even today, I don’t do it every day. But I always feel like it centers my heart and mind when I restart this habit. Reconnecting to God and remembering that putting Him first and foremost in my day always puts everything else into perspective.