by Tessa | Personal Development
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate link which means if you purchase something by clicking on the link, I get a small referral commission, at no cost to you.
Back in December I let you know about a Goals Blogging link up that I’m involved in and shared a bit about the process I used to make my life plan. I don’t normally share my goals because I feel they are very personal, but I know how much I benefit from reading what other people are (or are not) accomplishing in their lives so I thought it beneficial to share my progress with you this year.
Without further ado, I’ll jump right in:
Faith:
Bible in one year: keeping up with this one. I usually read between 5-6am when Baby Bear has his waking time.
In depth book study: I want to study Ephesians and James in more detail this year but haven’t made the time to even begin reading them. Adding it to my “to do” list and I’ll start my first read through of Ephesians next week.
Focused Daily prayer time: I have been partially doing this one during my morning quiet/Baby Bear awake time, after reading my daily Bible passage. But I think I would like to make a more specific prayer prompter.
Wife:
Monthly “out” date: We actually had our date last night. A late dinner while a friend watched our sleeping older children. It was great to be out with him but I think that, for February, we will go somewhere a little more quiet.
Doing something together: We have been learning about Queens of old through reading and watching biographical movies. It might not sound fun to everyone but it’s been a great bonding experience for us to talk about historical politics and lifestyles.
Kiss daily: Most days I do this. There are days when we barely see each other and I need to make it more of a priority on those busy days.
Mother:
Play: I have chosen to give up my best housework hours of the morning and spend that time playing with my kids instead. We have read countless stories, played playdough, done paper crafts, raced cars, gone for farm walks, and more. I’ve never been much of “playful” mother but it has blessed them to have my focused attention for that time and it has reminded me that it’s okay to “let down my hair” once in a while, so to speak.
Their faith: We forgot to read the Bible at dinner for a couple weeks but have started that up again. I bought The Narrated Bible in Chronological Order (NIV)
as a family Christmas gift and we read a chunk every night after dinner. Still working on making it a firm habit but we’ve read as a family more often this month that we did all last year. I have never read the Bible in chronological order before and it’s such a different experience.
Homemaker:
Housekeeping: This is tough with a little one who takes much of my time and attention but the house is livable and we have food and clean clothes. My goal for the year is to get back into my regular cleaning rhythm. I have all my routines typed up and, at this point, am focusing on completing my Monday tasks consistently every week.
Food: We stuck to our goal of not eating out (except our date last night) so I’m planning an evening of freezer cooking for sometime in February. I also want to make bread and homemade yogurt once a month and accomplished both of those.
Project: Last month was kids’ clothes and a friend came over to help me power through the mountain and sort them all into storage bins. February’s project will be to set up and use a digital organization system. I bought an instructional book, called Paperless Home Organization: How to Create A Digital Home Management Binder
that I’m working through and, so far, it’s great. By the end of February I should have my email inboxes, Evernote, and calendar organized.
Hobbies/Blog/Personal:
Reading: I have started keeping track of the books I’ve read and have a goal to read two non-fiction books per month and one fiction. I’m currently exceeding that goal because I sit to nurse or rock so often. I just keep my tablet and ereader beside the rocking chair.
Writing: My goal is to create a daily writing habit. So far I’m writing about 2-3 times per week so I’m halfway there.
Website: One “tweak” per month. In January I updated my “About Me” page and keep your eyes open for my February tweak of a new header.
Blog: Continue guest posting at TOTS Family and consistently post once per week. I hope to increase my personal posting frequency but, in this season of my life, it just isn’t realistic. So, for now, I’ll post once per week with the occasional “wild card” thrown in.
Plan to plan: Take an hour each week away from the kids to plan and prepare for the upcoming week. This could be a simple sanity saver for me but I just haven’t been doing it. I have just added it to my calendar (that syncs with my husband’s) and even added a reminder so both my phone and tablet will let me know to actually do it.
Quiet time: As an introvert, I crave quiet. I have moments when my house is quiet but it is very rare that my mind is quiet. I am trying to make a habit to take just a minute or two of outer and inner quiet during the day. I did this several times over the last month but need to make it a regular part of my daily routine.
Health: My goal to drink more water has been going well but my goal to eat a piece of fruit every day is not. I don’t naturally eat fruit in the winter so I’m going to continue working on this habit.
A couple things that I have yet to do for January that will get bumped to next week: get money out of the bank for church donation, and do some research on exercises to strengthen my core and hopefully eliminate my back issues this year.
If you have written a post on your goals, share your post by linking up. Grab the button and put it on your post to help spread the word and let’s help each other stay accountable. This linky party goes up the last Friday of the month and stays open for a few weeks. So feel free to link up or le me know in the comments how you are doing with your goals this year!
by Tessa | Motherhood
A few months ago I came across a movie on Netflix about Marie Antionette. I watched it and loved it. History, drama, love, politics. It had everything. Netflix recommended another movie to me about Queen Victoria. Then there was one about the Boleyn sisters, so I watched it too. Last week I went to the library for the first time since Baby Bear’s birth and decided to get a novel for myself (since I’m sitting so often to rock and/or nurse him). I saw a rather thick novel about the King Henry VIII and the Boleyn sisters. The librarian mentioned that, although it had some racy parts, it was one of her favorite novels. I’d say that’s pretty high praise from someone who works with books for a living so I checked it out.
A couple pages in and I was hooked.
There are not many things that I lack self control in but novel reading is one of them. Most of my housework was neglected as I devoured all 661 pages in four days. (Don’t worry, I did remember to feed my family and play with the kids but you don’t want to see my floors or laundry pile right now!) That’s in addition to numerous Wikipedia articles and other Tudor history websites. That naturally drifted into reading about the current British monarchy. I look at queens and princesses so differently as a mother than I did when I was a little girl. I’ll let you in on a 5 of my observations about royal mothers through the centuries:
- Royalty did not raise their babies. I couldn’t imagine not being able nurse my son and hold him and see him at will. Babies were handed off at a young age to wet nurses and nannies. Then sent away to school for much of their lives and usually only came back as teenagers, when they were ready to wed. Even much of the current royal family hires nannies. It is incredible to see the Duchess of Cambridge go against this trend and lean toward more of an attachment style of parenting.
- Girls didn’t matter. They were merely bargaining chips in the political game. The main purpose of a queen was to produce a male heir. Since I have 3 boys I can’t necessarily speak from experience, but I believe that mothers love their daughters just as much I love my sons. Aren’t you glad to live in a society that allows you to embrace your daughters as much as your sons?
- In the 1500s, a mother of noble blood had about a 2 month “laying in” period. They stayed in a dark and calm room for about a month before their expected delivery date and then a month after the birth and were waited on hand and foot. Sounds nice! I carried my first with no problem and could have been fine being pregnant for a while but, unfortunately, my second and third pregnancies were much tougher. It would been so nice to do nothing other than grow a baby that last month. I also completely support a “laying in” period after the baby is born. I don’t think the room needs to be dark but I do think that Mama should spend the first 40 or so days just focusing on her baby and her recovery. This is such a hard one to remember but, even with multiple children and no family around, you can make the decision to allow yourself this much-needed recovery and bonding time. Even if you have the perfect birth experience and a super mellow baby, remind yourself to take the time to just be a mom. It is such an important time in the mother-baby relationship and neglecting this time can cause so many problems when it comes to birth recovery, bonding, breastfeeding, sleep rhythms, and all the neurological and physical development that takes place in those early days.
- Babies were breastfed. By the mother for lower classes and a wet nurse for higher classes. There was no other way. No other option. It never occurred to generations of old that breastfeeding wouldn’t work. Before someone jumps down my throat on this topic, please remember that this is a fact, not an opinion. This is my opinion: the most common issue with breastfeeding relationships is not a supply issue or latch issue; it’s an expectation and lack of support issue. We have options that seem easier, so people take them. If we didn’t have those options, we wouldn’t be able to take them.
- Children were raised in the faith of their parents. Even if their parents weren’t directly involved in raising them, parental beliefs were taught to and encouraged in the child. I have read Facebook threads and blog posts where parents boast about giving their children the right to choose what they believe. Whether they have a personal faith or not, they are proud of the fact that they give their children the opportunity to learn about all different worldviews and then accept whichever their child chooses. I’m a pretty black and white thinker so the way that I look at this is if your faith is important to you, why wouldn’t you want to impress that importance upon your children? If your faith isn’t important enough for your to teach your children and hope that they make it their own, then why do you even bother having it in the first place? If you believe it’s true, then why shouldn’t your children be taught it as truth too? If you are a Christian (which most of my current readers are), is your relationship with and belief in Christ strong enough that you will teach your children there is only One Way?
I’m working my way through the British royal history and it’s incredible to see how it directly affects my life today. An example: King Henry VIII’s desire to have Anne Boleyn as his wife resulted in England’s separation from the Pope, which opened England up to an English Bible and the Protestant Reformation. No matter your personal beliefs, that is life-altering history.
Just for fun: Here is a site with portraits of mothers and their children from the 1500s.
I’d love to hear your thoughts: Is there a time period or a certain element of history that you look at differently in your current life season than you did previously?
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by Tessa | Motherhood
It isn’t hard to make play dough. It uses very few ingredients and takes only about 10 minutes from start to finish and provides countless hours of fun for my kids. So why do I make such a big deal over it?
I asked myself these questions last week as I watched my boys try to stick together play dough that was half dried out and kept falling apart.
My list of excuses:
I’m so tired today.
I’ll make some later today.
l doubt I have the right ingredients.
They will want to help and I’ll have a big mess to clean up.
They are still enjoying the crumbly stuff.
The truth:
I’m tired everyday.
I most likely wouldn’t get around to it later.
I probably do have ingredients and the least I could do is check.
So? There is going to be mess made today anyway If not in the kitchen, then in other areas of the house.
It would make them so happy to have new playdough that is easier for them to build things with.
As I had that inner dialogue and shot down each of my own excuses, I prayed. I asked God for the energy and oomph to to get out of the rocking chair, lay down my sleeping baby (and be okay with the fact that he would likely wake up sooner than if I was holding him) and go to my kitchen. I don’t always listen to God’s prompting but then I was reminded by a still, small Voice that, last month, I made a commitment to pursue the hearts of my children.
So I did it.
I’m sure there was just as much cheering in Heaven as there was in my house when the boys discovered what I was doing. Cheering for their happiness as well as cheering for my small triumph. God even blessed me with Baby Bear sleeping in his seat for awhile so I resisted the temptation to check a few things off of my to do list so I could play with my bigger boys. After I had rocked Baby Bear back to sleep, I had the entertainment of 2 little boys and their creative imaginations:
There were 10 invisible puppies involved who lived in the wall and got a ride to town for ice cream in Bumblebee
and Heatwave
(affiliate link to a couple of my kids’ favorite gifts from this past Christmas). Biscuit even asked the puppies to help him put the playdough away at tidy time. He held the bag open for them to put the playdough in. It was great in theory but then the puppies jumped in the bag instead. They only came out to jump on Papa Bear’s head and eat ice cream. The puppies have visited every day since then and continue to be a great source of imaginative play, even without the playdough.
Another benefit of making playdough that day is the renewed motivation it gave me to spend purposeful time with my children, in their world. They have asked me more often these last days to play with them. And I’ve been saying “yes” more often (though I did have to draw the line at digging in the giant snow pile because it just doesn’t seem safe to do that with Baby Bear in the sling).
I’m pursuing the hearts of my children by having a daily focus time, joining them in whatever they are playing. And you know what? I’m relearning how to play and it’s kind of fun!
What kind of play have you joined your children in lately?
by Tessa | Motherhood
My parents screwed up when they were raising me. They yelled at me and spanked me (a couple times). They disrespected my thoughts and opinions. I was raised by imperfect parents, and it affected me and my ability to parent. I’ve screwed up already with raising my boys.
I did not like my kids last night. Both C and Biscuit. I got so mad at them for their disobedience and the way they were treating each other. It was the end of the day, I was tired, and I reacted poorly. And then I looked at Baby Bear sleeping contentedly on my chest and felt my heart burst with peace and love for him. He’s perfect. He adores me. I can easily fill all of his needs. He’s quiet and never talks back or disobeys me. But it won’t last. It’s a scary thought that one day I will probably feel that all-to-familiar anger toward him as well.
I’m a sinner, raised by sinners, raising sinners. It’s a recipe for disaster.
The truth is that perfection is impossible. Thankfully, God doesn’t require perfection from us. Instead, He gives us grace. Grace: the free and unmerited power to save a person from sins. My boys will overcome the things that I do wrong with them, just like I am overcoming the things my parents did wrong with me. Through God’s grace. God overcame sin so we didn’t have to. This doesn’t give us permission to damage our children by the way we parent, rather, it allows us the freedom to allow the Holy Spirit to work through us. We are free to parent the way that He has called us to. He will be made perfect in our weakness.
We need to admit we aren’t perfect and stop believing the lie that we need to be. Admit that we make mistakes, even admit to our children that we are just as much sinners as they are. Ask them for forgiveness when we mess up.
The shackles of our ancestors and upbringing exist. Sin exists. We will always battle it but, praise the Lord, we do not battle alone. We can overcome imperfect parenting. The outcome is not of our doing. It is by the grace of God that we have happy, adjusted children. There is hope for them, in spite of our imperfections.
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by Tessa | Homemaking
When my husband and I were both working full time, our meals consisted of a lot of prepackaged foods. Canned soups, frozen pizza, hashbrowns, mac n cheese, cereal etc. I didn’t have a lot of recipes under my belt and didn’t enjoy cooking (still not my favorite thing to do) so we took a lot of shortcuts in the kitchen. Shortcuts are most definitely not how to eat healthier.
When I got pregnant, I wanted to improve my diet. So I added a lot more fruits and veggies than I used to eat but, due to my work schedule, I often had to eat supper in the vehicle. Drive-throughs were so convenient. Mmmm poutine!
Then C was born. I was still making slow improvements to my diet but it was tough since my husband wasn’t really on board. C was exclusively breastfed until 6 months old, when we first introduced him to solid foods, in the form of pureed carrots. Jarred food had too many additives for my liking so I avoided them. It wasn’t long before C moved past purees and he wanted to start sharing foods from my plate. That’s when we discovered the simplest and more beneficial tip to finding healthy foods in the grocery store:
Read labels.
There are numerous articles on how to read food labels and exactly which ingredients to avoid and which ingredients do what to your body. It’s confusing, to say the least. The “Ah Ha” moment came when my husband and I were comparing ingredients on a couple bags of hashbrowns. One had about 15 ingredients and one had about 6 ingredients. We bought the one with 6.
Typically, less ingredients is better. Also, if you can’t pronounce the ingredients, they probably aren’t good for you.
Carrots = good.
Milk = good.
Eggs = good.
Rice = good.
Eat foods in as close to their natural state as possible and your body will thank you. That’s the easiest starting point to improving what you are putting into your body.
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What is the easiest tip that you have for someone who wants to eat healthier or head toward a healthier lifestyle?
Edited to add: Yes, I do realize my photo has a spelling mistake. And no, I won’t be fixing it at this point. Too much work and I think you get the point anyway 🙂
