by Tessa | Motherhood
It’s a question unschoolers are asked regularly: does unschooling actually work? For our family, unschooling has worked in allowing our boys to learn at their own pace, how and when they decided they are ready. Time and time again my husband and I have been reminded how our kids will figure out what they need to know in their lives/interests and then pursue it. I’ve shared how a simple observation leads to questions in the unschooling process.
Top Gear UK. We have watched every episode on Netflix (also available through Amazon Prime’s Amazon Instant Video
) at least once. Most of them multiple times. Especially the episodes with mustangs. If you haven’t watched the show here’s a low down: three men test drive cars and review them and do a bunch of crazy challenges. From an unschooling perspective, it is a mother of boys’ dream come true. The show involves geography and history (the places they visit), science/mechanics (engines, building experiments), language/vocabulary (the hosts are mostly clean and use fun words like “torque,” “centrifugal force,” and “gravity”), art (in the form of beautifully molded metal as well as the scenery and videography), politics (in various countries, not just England), critical thinking (how can they cross a salt land without sinking?) and even mathematical concepts (horsepower, speed, time).
My boys are young so they’re not quite ready to tear apart an engine to rebuild it but C asks a ton of questions and both boys listen and take in the answers. They have a ton of small cars that they act out the races with, including building ramps and jumps and ferrying them across rivers. They hadn’t really gone beyond that whole cars and racing theme until recently though.
A few weeks ago, they made a train with the kitchen chairs. Certainly not an unusual thing for children to do so I didn’t think much of it. I even packed them a little suitcase with their clothes (ulterior motive: they were still in their jammies so I hoped they would get dressed) and planned to pack them a picnic lunch. They had their tickets and even modified the train to fit a seat for Baby Bear and me. C was the engineer and Biscuit was the conductor.
Then it got even better: they planned a trip.
They were going to drive down Chile to the bottom of South America and see if they would be able to beat (imaginary) Daddy, who was driving a Mustang in the race. This gave us the opportunity to examine our wall map to see what kind of obstacles they would come across (bodies of water, mountains, etc.). We talked about how maps work and calculating distances and how many days the race might take them. It was a really great geography lesson (and probably covered a whole host of other schoolish subjects too) and a really great imaginative game as well.
That is unschooling. It requires very little effort on anyone’s part to follow those questions but it requires a lot of trust that our children are designed to learn. And, if granted the freedom to do so, learn they shall. Even if they spend days at a time watching a tv show with three bickering middle aged men with funny accents.
What has caught the interest of your child recently? What are you willing to do to run with their curiosity?
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by Tessa | Motherhood
The unschooling process starts whenever there is an observation.
We have a lilac bush right in front of our back deck. I can’t see anything on the other side of it and I plan to chop it down and trim it or move it this spring. But, for now it sits there, as pretty much the only thing we can see out of our deck door.
The sparrows love our bush. And C loves the sparrows. We hung up a simple bird feeder the other day and have been watching the birds extra closely to see if they eat it. I asked him to grab his bird book so he could identify them. He instantly found that they looked like the birds in the sparrow section. It was tough to see the details to be able to identify the type of sparrow more specifically so I grabbed my camera and took a few photos.
We noticed that there are different kind of sparrows in the bush. So we looked through the book and then grabbed a computer and Googled “types of sparrows.” We looked through a ton of photos online and compared with the ones that I had taken. We talked about the beak colors, crown, eyes, chest and tail. It was great to go through the details and show my boys how many different types of sparrows there are and how they are all different.
Then I got the song “His Eye is on the Sparrow” stuck in my head so I sang it to the boys. It gave me the opportunity to talk to them about Matthew 10:29-31 that talks about how God notices a sparrow fall from the tree, how much more does he know and notice you. So many sparrows just in our bush, yet God knows each and every one of them. I played the song through on the piano a couple times, which made C want to play for a bit. I have a couple lessons books that he likes to try, with some assistance. So he played on and practiced the piano for a while before he came back to the sparrows. By that point, I had printed off some coloring pages, a few of which had some key words (such as Nest, Egg, Sparrow, Seed) for C to learn.
Subjects covered: Science (animal anatomy, diet, and habitat), research skills, music, Bible, reading, coloring and photography. (Did I miss any?)
The unschooling process doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, it’s a lot simpler than people think. Even families who don’t unschool follow the unschooling process in their day-to-day lives. It starts with an observation, which leads to a question, which opens the door to exploring for answers.
What questions have you answered lately for your child that led you down a wonderful path of exploration?
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by Tessa | Motherhood
A few months ago I came across a movie on Netflix about Marie Antionette. I watched it and loved it. History, drama, love, politics. It had everything. Netflix recommended another movie to me about Queen Victoria. Then there was one about the Boleyn sisters, so I watched it too. Last week I went to the library for the first time since Baby Bear’s birth and decided to get a novel for myself (since I’m sitting so often to rock and/or nurse him). I saw a rather thick novel about the King Henry VIII and the Boleyn sisters. The librarian mentioned that, although it had some racy parts, it was one of her favorite novels. I’d say that’s pretty high praise from someone who works with books for a living so I checked it out.
A couple pages in and I was hooked.
There are not many things that I lack self control in but novel reading is one of them. Most of my housework was neglected as I devoured all 661 pages in four days. (Don’t worry, I did remember to feed my family and play with the kids but you don’t want to see my floors or laundry pile right now!) That’s in addition to numerous Wikipedia articles and other Tudor history websites. That naturally drifted into reading about the current British monarchy. I look at queens and princesses so differently as a mother than I did when I was a little girl. I’ll let you in on a 5 of my observations about royal mothers through the centuries:
- Royalty did not raise their babies. I couldn’t imagine not being able nurse my son and hold him and see him at will. Babies were handed off at a young age to wet nurses and nannies. Then sent away to school for much of their lives and usually only came back as teenagers, when they were ready to wed. Even much of the current royal family hires nannies. It is incredible to see the Duchess of Cambridge go against this trend and lean toward more of an attachment style of parenting.
- Girls didn’t matter. They were merely bargaining chips in the political game. The main purpose of a queen was to produce a male heir. Since I have 3 boys I can’t necessarily speak from experience, but I believe that mothers love their daughters just as much I love my sons. Aren’t you glad to live in a society that allows you to embrace your daughters as much as your sons?
- In the 1500s, a mother of noble blood had about a 2 month “laying in” period. They stayed in a dark and calm room for about a month before their expected delivery date and then a month after the birth and were waited on hand and foot. Sounds nice! I carried my first with no problem and could have been fine being pregnant for a while but, unfortunately, my second and third pregnancies were much tougher. It would been so nice to do nothing other than grow a baby that last month. I also completely support a “laying in” period after the baby is born. I don’t think the room needs to be dark but I do think that Mama should spend the first 40 or so days just focusing on her baby and her recovery. This is such a hard one to remember but, even with multiple children and no family around, you can make the decision to allow yourself this much-needed recovery and bonding time. Even if you have the perfect birth experience and a super mellow baby, remind yourself to take the time to just be a mom. It is such an important time in the mother-baby relationship and neglecting this time can cause so many problems when it comes to birth recovery, bonding, breastfeeding, sleep rhythms, and all the neurological and physical development that takes place in those early days.
- Babies were breastfed. By the mother for lower classes and a wet nurse for higher classes. There was no other way. No other option. It never occurred to generations of old that breastfeeding wouldn’t work. Before someone jumps down my throat on this topic, please remember that this is a fact, not an opinion. This is my opinion: the most common issue with breastfeeding relationships is not a supply issue or latch issue; it’s an expectation and lack of support issue. We have options that seem easier, so people take them. If we didn’t have those options, we wouldn’t be able to take them.
- Children were raised in the faith of their parents. Even if their parents weren’t directly involved in raising them, parental beliefs were taught to and encouraged in the child. I have read Facebook threads and blog posts where parents boast about giving their children the right to choose what they believe. Whether they have a personal faith or not, they are proud of the fact that they give their children the opportunity to learn about all different worldviews and then accept whichever their child chooses. I’m a pretty black and white thinker so the way that I look at this is if your faith is important to you, why wouldn’t you want to impress that importance upon your children? If your faith isn’t important enough for your to teach your children and hope that they make it their own, then why do you even bother having it in the first place? If you believe it’s true, then why shouldn’t your children be taught it as truth too? If you are a Christian (which most of my current readers are), is your relationship with and belief in Christ strong enough that you will teach your children there is only One Way?
I’m working my way through the British royal history and it’s incredible to see how it directly affects my life today. An example: King Henry VIII’s desire to have Anne Boleyn as his wife resulted in England’s separation from the Pope, which opened England up to an English Bible and the Protestant Reformation. No matter your personal beliefs, that is life-altering history.
Just for fun: Here is a site with portraits of mothers and their children from the 1500s.
I’d love to hear your thoughts: Is there a time period or a certain element of history that you look at differently in your current life season than you did previously?
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by Tessa | Motherhood
My oldest son has known his letters and their sounds since before he was three. But couldn’t count for the life of him. I knew it would come eventually. My husband and I giggle about the fact that the first day he counted to 5 (at about age 5) his little brother was right beside him (at just over two) and counted to 10! We reminded ourselves to trust God’s design for him.
A few mornings ago, he was awake at 5:30am and just laid in bed, quietly. I asked why he didn’t go back to sleep. He told me he was practicing his counting. I asked him why and his response was simply that that he wanted to learn his numbers. I believe it is so he can recognize cow numbers so he can be a better helper for his daddy and Opa (my dad).
He recently started counting everything. He’s 5.5 and can finally count to 10! And count 10 items and recognize all sorts of other numbers between 1-100. Tonight he was even doing addition and subtraction with his dinner (he had 7 nuggets and ate 3 so he had four left, things like that).
I just wanted to share because, to my husband and me, this is such an amazing example of how our kids will figure out what they need to know in their lives/interests and then pursue it.
by Tessa | Homemaking
Do you every get overwhelmed when you read all those wonderful and amazing blog posts written by people who are already at the destination of organization? Me too.
If you follow my Pinterest boards, you’ve likely noticed my recent stint of pinning a bunch of links related to organization. I’ve been scrambling to get my house and mind and family all in order before the baby comes. Creating rhythms and routines and setting up a reasonable housekeeping schedule is tough when you’re dealing with unpredictable mealtimes (my husband’s schedule is not consistent right now), unpredictable children (because kids are like that), and unpredictable health (fatigue, morning sickness, other pain and injuries). I don’t have it all figured out.
I know that everyone says to not compare yourself to others but let me tell you a few things that I’ve learned about people (and myself) through doing all this research:
Many people have way higher housekeeping standards than I do. Some even clean their baseboards and windows weekly! (Did you know that no one will notice if you clean them once per year? Or never?) Unfortunately, this means that when people tell you to lower your standards when you’re finding it hard to keep up on housekeeping, that doesn’t apply to me. My standards have already been lowered enough.
Many people feed their children way more than I do. Lately we have peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast, yogurt or oatmeal with fruit and cheese n crackers for snack/lunch, and then simple, homemade dinners (that can be made in 30 min or less). We also drink a lot of milk during the day which fills their tummies with lots of long-lasting protein. The only thing I (currently) plan is dinner and my children often make their own sandwiches for breakfast.
Not everyone needs as much sleep as I do. I look at some of the evening and morning routines of other bloggers and I know for a fact that I could not survive with that little of sleep. Some people can thrive off of 6 hours of sleep. I’m not one of them. I need at least 8.5 hours. I need to go to bed at (at least) 10:30pm and need to sleep until 7am. My children also sleep until 7am. I have no morning solo quiet time. My sleep is also interrupted several times through the night so I’m still tired during the day. I can often be found napping on the couch in the early afternoon while my children watch an episode or two of Transformers Rescue Bots or Magic School Bus. I’m okay with that. This is where I am at right now. Plus this is actually getting us into a good rhythm for when the baby comes and I’ll be needing a daily nap even more.
Everyone has a different perception of organized. Some people love to have open cabinets with everything on display; some people love to have lots of wall decor and knick knacks; some people prefer a minimalist view with lots of empty space and everything hidden behind cupboard doors. This was helpful to find out because I grew up in a home with a lot of knick knacks on display but I haven’t unpacked any of mine since moving 11 months ago. I don’t need to feel guilty about it because my personal style leans more towards minimalism and white space. I also learned why my kids’ book and toy shelf in the living room drives me nuts, even when it is tidied up. I need to get something with doors I can close so I don’t see all that stuff.
I know that I’m not the only one comparing and learning about this sort of stuff otherwise those blogs wouldn’t have so much traffic. Please leave a comment because I’d love to hear what lessons you have learned about yourself while on your journey to organization.
Also, subscribe to my weekly blog post roundup because I will share next week what I’ve learned about setting up a home management binder through this journey. (You can subscribe by filling in the simple form on the right.)
