by Tessa | Faith, Motherhood
Dealing with Worries as a Mother
Fevers and illness, daring activities that lead to injuries, potential kidnappings, government interference… there are so many things that we worry about as mothers. It’s so easy to spiral down into those worries and start to panic.
Dealing with most worries of a mother can be as simple as making a worst case plan and then releasing it to God.
Deal With Worries of a Mother by Making a Plan
I am an
INTJ, according to Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator. One of the nicknames for this type is “Visionary” or “Mastermind”. This means that I spend a lot of time looking toward and planning for the future. I have done this I was very young and, as a kid, never knew it was unusual to have a fully laid out life plan, complete with a variety of options and contingencies.
I’m talking about an 8 year old knowing what she wanted to be doing 40 years down the road and mapping out a plan to get there.
Keeping this “future oriented” personality quirk in mind, it may come as no surprise that my typical response to worries is that I make a plan to deal with a variety of possible issues.
I like to plan out the alternative paths the particular concern could take and my potential responses to it. Usually that helps bring me some peace about the situation and puts things into perspective to remind myself that it isn’t the end of the world and that, no matter what, we’ll make it through to the other side (even if the interim is unpleasant, to say the least).
Having a plan to deal with the potential worst case scenarios helps me to imagine myself coming through the other end of the situation. It shows me that something may knock me down right now but I am capable of overcoming it.
As much as we love our children, God loves them more.
Conquor Worries as a Mother by Giving Your Children to God
After plotting out all my potential conclusions, I remind myself that my kids are not my own. They belong body and soul to God the Creator. And as much as I love my children, God loves them more. I give them, and all of my worries surrounding them, back to Him and to His master plan for them.
It is not easy, I’m certainly not going to say that. I have seens friends go through heartbreaking times and have had a few heartbreaking moments myself. But moments like that are a good reminder that we aren’t in control.
Which can be scary because we are often taught that controlling all the outcomes is the ultimate measure of success. But, if you really analyze it, giving up the unrealistic need for control is actually a good thing.
You and I don’t know everything that is happening or how everything in this world intertwines to affect each other. It’s a good thing that God does. All knowing and all powerful. It doesn’t mean that things will always make sense to us. It just means that we can trust that He really does know best and have our ultimate best interests at heart.
Worrying is a sin. It shows that we lack trust in God’s power and love.
I read a great quote a while back: “We just think we are in the land of the living and that we are going to die, but when we believe in God the opposite is true. We’re in the land of the dying and because of Jesus we’re going to the land of the living. The land where there is no more pain, no more tears, and where we’ll be with Christ for eternity.” (The Kissing Bridge
by Tricia Goyer)
As Christians, we can find comfort in the fact that this isn’t our world. It’s easier said than done, especially when our worries seem very big and legitimate, but it’s the plain and simple truth.
Don’t Let Worry for Your Children Consume You
We act like worrying is a natural part of mothering but worrying is a sin. It shows a lack of trust in God’s love for us and His ultimate power over this world.
I need to give my kids back to God every morning and every evening.
I had been daily giving my pregnancy and my birth plans to God. A few weeks ago I had a scary incident that resulted in an ambulance ride (for myself, at 35 weeks pregnant) and a couple nights in the hospital. With no answers as to what happened, that’s one I give to God anytime it crosses my mind. I have some chronic health problems that made me worried I wouldn’t be able to hold my baby properly to nurse and cuddle when he arrived (which was 4 days ago, St Patrick’s Day, by the way. Stay tuned as I plan to share his birth story in the next month). So many things I could dwell on!
So today, and every day, give your worries to God and trust that He’s got this. I know it’s easier said than done and this is a sin that many of us struggle with on a regular basis.’m learning to trust Him more every day and I truly believe you can as well.
What worries have you been holding on to lately? Feel free to share them in the comments so we can pray for you. Or just say a prayer right now to give them to God. And give it back to Him every time you find yourself spiraling. Regular prayer time is critical to our walk as Christian mothers.
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by Tessa | Personal Development
Have you ever heard of how to eat an elephant? You eat it one bite at a time. It’s a pretty similar process when you want to live better.
This is the continuation of my previous post. In that post I gave you a partial list of my lifestyle improvement goals and asked you to make your own list. I hope that you now have your own list made and I hope that you went nuts on it and made a great word picture of how you want your life to look. If you haven’t done the assignment there yet, first head on over to read about taking steps to live a better life and then you’ll be ready to come back here to learn about using these 3 steps to live better.
1st Step to Live Better:
Choose an area or two that you feel the most overwhelmed with or that you feel are the most important areas to move forward. I chose housework and Jesus. (Remember when the answer to every question asked in Sunday School was “Jesus?” He’s the answer here too.)
2nd Step to Live Better
Choose one sub-topic in that area.
If something feels impossible, focus on doing just one small thing at a time.
3rd Step to Live Better
Make a simple plan and jump in:
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So let’s recap:
First you will need to choose a major area or two of importance.
Second you will need to find your bite sized piece.
Third is to take a bite. And then another. But just start with one bite.
You may not have conquered the world but you are one bite closer than you were 10 minutes ago!
What is the bite-sized improvement that you working on right now? A really great way to work through a life improvement brainstorm and then track your results is with my custom Habit Tracker and Workbook. Enter your email to get the free printable and get started with your personalized steps to live better.
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by Tessa | Faith
Tolerance is a buzz word nowadays. Everyone needs to be tolerant. We need to tolerate everyone’s beliefs and lifestyles etc. But is that really what our goal should be?
As Christians, we should move beyond tolerance. Jesus doesn’t ask us to tolerate our neighbours. He asks us, commands us rather, to LOVE our neighbour.
How does love look different than tolerance?
An attitude of tolerance means you do your own thing and I won’t interfere. I’ll leave you alone and you leave me alone. What kind of effect does that have on society? It separates us. We end up shattered, broken, and crumbling apart.
Love binds. Love means I’ll help you and be there for you, regardless of your beliefs, lifestyle, or the sins you have committed. Love means realizing that God died and rose for your sins as much as He died for mine. It doesn’t mean that I will support your sins, nor should you support mine. It means that we can show and practice love, regardless. It builds relationship and communities.
Our country is crumbling because of tolerance. The only way it can be rebuilt is through us allowing Christ’s love to flow through to us.
A while back I had a dream that I had cancer and was only given 1-2 years to live. I woke up thinking about what I would change if that were the reality. What “legacy” would I want to leave? What kind of mother would I want my children to remember? The biggest thing God impressed upon my heart that morning was that I want them to know and share God’s love. The first way to accomplish that goal is to love them hard every single day (any mom will agree that, some days, this isn’t an easy task). The second is to continually remind them that their mission on earth is to show love. We need to be so full of love that it flows right out and into society.
Fill up my cup, let it over flow with love.
What the world needs now is love, love and only love.
But not just any kind of love. God’s perfect and healing love. Let’s set a higher standard for ourselves than mere tolerance. Consciously make the choice every morning to take a big drink of the spring of Living Water. Fill yourself with so much Perfect Love that it can’t help but overflow. That’s what we can do to heal this world.
by Tessa | Faith
I spent some time reflecting on the past year as I made my Life Plan for 2014 and our sermon yesterday was a review of some of the congregations blessings over the past year. I’ve had “Count Your Blessings” stuck in my head all day. So here are some of my favorite memories and blessings of 2013 (in no particular order):
- The birth of my third son. What an unbelievable experience! He is 7 weeks old now and has made such a seamless entry into our lives.
- Hiring a close friend to work with us on the farm and having him and his wife and kids move just down the road. I love having a friend 5 minutes down the road and their whole family has been such a blessing with the extra help on the farm, support for when I had Baby Bear, and friends for my own boys to play with.
- A bountiful harvest. There is something to be said for irrigated fields. We have never, in all the years we have been farming, seen such an amazing harvest. And God protected our fields from the crazy weather too!
- A new brother-in-law. It wasn’t the prettiest process but my sister-in-law’s new husband is a wonderful addition to the family. And he brought with him two incredible new nieces, who I hope will learn to love our family as much as we already love them.
- The best family Christmas in the last decade. After many years of … upside down Christmases, Hubby and I both truly enjoyed spending time with both sides of our family as well as having more intimate celebrations with our own three boys.
- A new vehicle. I can’t say enough how much I love our GMC Acadia. Not only is it perfect for our family’s needs, it is a truly beautiful machine on the inside and the out. It is the first new vehicle I have ever owned and I feel so blessed to call it my own.
- Miracles and progress on the farm. We went through quite an adventure with moving a whole herd of cattle plus all the machinery last winter and much of this year was spent trying to figure out the new system and farming rhythm here. It wasn’t always easy and it was a steep learning curve but God answered our prayers and we are finally feeling like things are headed in the right direction.
- A church family that completely enveloped my family into their fold. We weren’t able to attend regularly throughout the year (partially due to farm work and partially due to our own fatigue after a long, hard week) but the congregation continually greeted us like we were old friends, with no judgement. It is very exciting to be at a place in our lives when church attendance can become more regular and we are able to leave feeling refreshed in both heart and spirit.
- Growth in my marriage. After 9.5 years of marriage, Hubby and I are closer than we have ever been. It is truly a God-thing to grow closer in spite of the busyness of the last year. Or perhaps it is because of it. I love being on the same page as him when it comes to goals for our family and the farm.
- My own spiritual growth. I’m actually excited to read my Bible. My post partum depression (from after my second son was born) has been defeated. I’m singing in worship again. But most importantly, God has convicted me of the importance of pursuing Him, for both my own sake as well as my family’s.
This year had led our whole family on an adventure of ups and downs and has taught us, once again, that God is in control and the only way to make it through any season of life is to fully rely on Him.
What are some of your favorite memories or blessings of 2013? How are you allowing the lessons you’ve learned in 2013 shape your 2014?
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Time-Warp Wife Ben & Me
