Cloth Diaper Tips

These cloth diaper tips were written for a new cloth diapering mama, by a mom who has cloth diapered 4 little men and is now diapering her first little girl over the course of the last 12 years. It was written to be a cheat sheet of tips, not a full blown tutorial. You may also like to read about my favorite cloth diapers.

When changing baby, make sure you fold the Velcro laundry tabs down as you remove the diaper.
Wash every 2 to 3 days at least. Going longer makes it tougher to get them clean.
Start with a soak cycle. If you don’t have a soak cycle, drench the diapers to their full absorbency before washing by adding extra water to the washer drum or adding to the pail liner before tipping into the washer. (You don’t need to rinse until baby is on a lot of solid foods. At that point, tip any poop that comes off easily into the toilet and do a rinse cycle before soaking.)
Use an eco friendly detergent (My favorites are Norwex, Rocking green, or Charlie’s)
Dry until fully dry, not damp. I just throw the covers and pail liner in the dryer too but you could air dry them (they should last longer if you do).
Chuck them in the basket or drawer and they’re ready to use again.

Extra Tips:

Disposable wipes have a tendency to go through the washer so most people find cloth wipes (I use baby face cloths) much more convenient. 30-40 wipes should be plenty for a newborn. You’ll need less for older babies/toddlers.
A mesh laundry bag (held up in something like a large peanut butter container) for dirty wipes prevents wipes from getting lost. Be sure it is big enough to give the wipes lots of room to wiggle clean. Get two, one to wash and one to use. (I also has issues with wipes getting into my washer drainage hose and the mesh bag solved that problem.)
A small container of water on or near the change table, freshened every few days, makes it easier to wet a wipe when needed. Pre-wetting wipes is quick but can result in musty wipes that need to be washed even if they haven’t been used.
Wet and wring wipes and put them in a plastic sandwich bag for going out.
Use a reusable diaper pail liner. Turn it inside out to push the diapers into the washer and you’ll never have to touch the dirty diapers and you’ll rarely have to wash your diaper pail.
Keep the diapers in a cool part of the room with good airflow. Avoid sealing the lid onto the diaper pail because they may start to get hot and fermenty. They actually smell less than disposables because you don’t have that icky chemical smell mixed in.
Under normal circumstances, you should not have to strip diapers more than about once a year. If you are having problems that require your to strip more frequently, try revising your wash routine.
Most diaper creams are not cloth diaper safe. Coconut oil may help any bum rashes you encounter or there are some great cloth diaper safe creams put there. My personal favorites are Earth Mama Angel Baby and Thirsties.
For using cloth on the go, remember your diapers, covers, pre-wetted wipes, a wet bag, and a change pad (I ADORE these waterproof change pads and can’t believe it took me 5 babies to be introduced to them. Just chuck them in the wash with the diapers and presto!).

Consistency in the Service of Motherhood

by Tessa | Motherhood

Consistency in the Service of Motherhood

Disclosure

When I originally had the idea of writing on consistency, I thought that this post would be about consistency in your mothering and discipline techniques. About following through when telling your child to do something. As I started writing, however, I was led in a completely different direction. This is about my struggle with consistency in the service of motherhood.

My mind has been cloudy lately. My body has been weary. I’m nearing the end of my pregnancy and, to be frank, I’m pretty sick of waking up to pee 2-3 times per night and having to maneuver gingerly out of bed so as not to aggravate my pelvic pain. I’m thankful that, for the last couple of weeks, Biscuit has only been up 2-3 times per night and has settled back to sleep quickly.

I want to be a blessing to my husband and children. I know the “to dos” to get there but I’m having a hard time getting motivated. I cannot rely on my own strength, because it so often fails me. I’m consistently inconsistent. Just when I feel like I’m getting into a good rhythm with housework, mothering, my marriage, and business, I drop the ball. What’s a person to do at that point?

Go back to square one.

Square one is to read my Bible and pray. I didn’t get my Bible reading in for a couple mornings last week. It completely threw my day off. I don’t know how much of it was the lack of the Word and focused time with God, or the lack of structure at the beginning of the day.

Service. Jesus came to serve and He is the example that we are to follow.

Servanthood is hard.

Especially at this point in my life, I would much rather be served than to serve. I even feel like I’m entitled to being served sometimes. I do a lot of serving and, to tell the truth, I grow weary from it. But nowhere in the Bible does it say that we are to serve with the expectation of being served back. How in the world does a person serve and sacrifice so much of herself, consistently every day, without growing weary?

You can’t. I can’t. I need to find a way to rely on God’s strength instead of my own. Because there are days when I just run out of strength.

Go back to the beginning.

Square one: read my Bible. Keep reading until I allow God’s strength to come into me. He will give me the strength. All I need to do is ask in faith and I shall receive. But I also have to be willing and open to receiving it.

How do I open myself up to His strength? Prayer. God’s strength is found in His Word and made perfect in my weakness. His perfect strength will see me through.

[bctt tweet=”He will give me the strength. All I need to do is ask in faith and I shall receive. But I also have to be willing and open to receiving it.”]

Lord,

Please fill me with Your strength. I can’t go on without it. I need you. I can’t do this alone. I don’t want to rely on my faltering strength. Open my heart and mind to being used by You to bless my family today. And fill me with the strength to follow through.

Amen.

Do you struggle with consistency too? How do you find the strength to consistently serve your family?

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How to Encourage Boys to Love Reading

by Tessa | Homeschooling, Motherhood

How to Encourage Boys to Love Reading

Disclosure

Today I want to talk to you about books. Particularly books for boys and how to encourage boys to love reading. I am a mom of 4 boys, all of whom love books. Even the ones who can’t read yet love to sit on the couch and surround themselves with books and just flip through. Sometimes for hours at a time. People think that my house must be loud and chaotic, and it certainly has its moments, but we also have times when it feels like you’re in a morgue by the level of noise.

how to encourage boys to love reading pin

For the record, my two older boys are naturally a bit quieter and lower energy but my two younger boys are my busy, bouncy blondies. Truly. They are the reason why I have a trampoline inside and outside my house. I like to think the trampolines are saving couches though the couches still get some decent… attention and have seen better days. /sigh “You are the reason we cant have nice things!”

I also have other people’s children over regularly, including their busy boys who they swear hate reading. Yet they come here and sit contentedly on the couch with a book. Or they never even make it to the couch and just sit on the floor in front of the bookcase. Which I’m totally fine with and in the past I even put nice little soft reading chairs in front of the bookcase for them but….boys. 2 out of 3 have had to go into the dumpster because they were used as tanks and spaceships and who knows what else and completely came apart.

Anyone who doesn’t like reading just hasn’t found the right book.

My only daughter is only a month old right now so I’m not going to claim that girls are not attracted to specific types of books or topics because I just don’t know (and of course every girl is different). I do know, however, that girls are typically less reluctant readers and more parents struggle to get their boys (possibly including husbands?) to read for pleasure.

I have been asked on more than one occasion for tips on how to encourage boys to love reading. These tips and book suggestions are not a guarantee but they will definitely help point you and your son(s) in the right direction.

1.Have books available for little hands from a young age.

This is obviously a tip that applies to any child but I think people sometimes forget to get books for their boys. Take time to read to them or, if they don’t want to sit and read a story, just flip through the book at their own pace and point at pictures. Go back and forth between pages and repeat things 100 times. Let them speed through the book as fast or as slow as they like. Just don’t let them throw or purposely wreck the book. They can learn to treat books with respect right from the start (even though it may take several years for that lesson to truly sink in). Keep toddler books accessible and make them easy to clean up. A low shelf that they can be placed on (in disarray of course as properly reshelving books is hard for little hands) or a bin they can pull over to a comfy reading spot are ideal. Even if you typically use the library for your book needs, I would recommend picking up a couple dozen toddler books so they can gain familiarity and choose their favorite titles over and over again.

2.Choose books on topics they are already interested in.

He is going to be less likely to be willing to pick up a book in a topic that you’re trying to introduce. That feels much more like forced reading, which is usually seen as a chore. You want to encourage a love of reading out of pleasure, not make reading a duty. Please don’t choose something that you think they “should” read or be interested in until you have already established a firm love of reading and a level of trust with your child so he knows you’re not just trying to force something on him. Share these books with no pressure or expectation. “I saw this and know you are interested in XYZ so I thought of you.” Then leave it and let them decide what to do with it.

3. Find a variety of styles of books.

I know that all boys are different (I have 4 with the same contributing genetics and each is totally unique, then add in the billions of other boys in the world, yikes!) but there are some consistent favorites on our shelves. Some types and features of books they have been consistently attracted to:

Real pictures instead of drawings
Touchy feely features
Fabric books
Lift the flap books (when they’ve learned to be more gentle)
Photographic historical books
Age appropriate biographies
Activity and How To books (i.e. science experiments, Lego ideas, wood working, outdoor survival)
Large pictures with minimal print
Comics or graphic novels

Some favorite topics have included:

Anything “extreme” (weather, machines, animals, world records etc)
Military, current and historical (including weapons, battles and wars, biographies on great leaders)
Animals
Human Body
Allegorical fiction
Video games
Science and technology
Machines (dump trucks, tractors, race cars)
Lives of kids, fiction and non fiction, in history as well as currently
Funny stuff, whether jokes or silly stories

4. Read aloud, whether they are young or old.

Find a time in your day that is specifically for reading to your kids. When they are younger this can be as simple as letting them bring a book to you and you taking the time to flip through at their pace. As they get older you can tie this to snack time or during a meal, or at bedtime. I truly believe every family should make bedtime stories a part of their daily routine. Even as kids get older, they can still benefit from read aloud time. Just be sure to let them pick the story or choose something that you truly believe they would like (and there is no rule that says you need to finish the book if it turns out to be terrible). Let it be a family bonding time. It is a simple way to go on adventures together, trek around the globe, and go back in time.

5. Be an Example worth following

Your kids need to see you reading. Not just blog posts on your phone or ebooks on your kindle, but paperback books. Digital and audio books or magazines can be beneficial but there is nothing like holding the pages in your hand. That goes for your kids too. They need the tactile feedback of turning a page, being able to flip to the cover to see the title, or to the back to reread the summary. They may need the ability to flip quickly to the end to make sure their favorite character comes out on top. They may want to flip back to the previous chapter to reread a favorite part. These things are much more difficult to do with an ebook or audio book. Plus, they need to see their parents with a book in hand so they know instantly that you aren’t just window shopping or checking email or scrolling social media again.

So let’s say that you always have books available, have lots of books you know he would love if he just gave them a chance, have introduced lots of styles and topics, read aloud regularly, and are an avid reader but you son still just doesn’t pick up a book. That happens. Keep in mind that boys typically learn to read later in life so you may just need to be patient. Boys (and their parents) are also often influenced by a culture that makes them feel as though it isn’t normal for them to enjoy reading. These can make it feel impossible but let me share a story with you to prove that these things are not insurmountable.
Here’s a short story, shared with permission:

My husband was told his whole life that he was a hands on learner and not academic. He was told he wasn’t a great reader. He will tell you he read 1 or 2 books in high school but didn’t read a single book his whole adult life. Over the last 15 years I’ve been pointing out to him that he reads just fine and actually reads quite a bit. Some of the things he reads include equipment repair manuals (with lots of technical terms that I don’t understand), video game tutorials, research articles on everything farming, newspapers, children’s books for bedtime stories etc. It has never been about skill level, only about lack of practice of reading an actual (adult level) book. Last summer he noticed our eldest 2 boys were really interested in a couple of book series and specifically that out 8yo went from not reading to reading everything within 6 months. He figured he needed to keep up to what his boys were talking about. So he picked up the first book in the series. Then he picked up the next. Over the summer he read about a dozen books. Some youth and some adult. Some fiction and some non fiction. But he officially said I’m right: anyone who dislikes reading just hasn’t found the right book.

It may take 35 years (and continued encouragement) but patience pays off.

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Tips for Cabin Fever When You’re Stuck at Home With the Kids

by Tessa | Motherhood

Tips for Cabin Fever When You’re Stuck at Home With the Kids

Disclosure

Sometimes we get stuck at home for illness. Sometimes it’s due to a vehicle breakdown. And, every year, we get stuck at home during winter. I currently have 5 kids in a small, 120 year old farm house. How can I stay sane with the kids at home when we all end up feeling a bit of cabin fever?

I’ll be upfront and say that some days at home with the kids are easier than others but I have found certain things help our whole household run more smoothly.

Stick to a Household Rhythm
Plan for Phyical Activity
Creative Open-ended Toys
Planned Screen Time
Daily Quiet Time
Positive Attitude

how to stay sane as a mother through winter with a large family in a small house

Bears prepare for hibernation by filling their bellies and finding a nice cave to hunker down in to sleep the months away. Beavers don’t hibernate but they do prepare for winter by gathering food and repairing their dam as they are much less active during winter. Dairy farmers prepare for winter by silaging (a form of harvesting) and covering the crop to ferment to be able to feed it through the next year, repairing cattle water heaters, and stocking up on bedding to keep the cattle warm.

What can we, as mothers, do to prepare for those seasons when we know we are stuck at home with the kids?

We homeschool so large stretches of time with my kids is something I’ve always experienced but I know that isn’t typically the case for people. I’m also an introvert so we take extra time at home just out of preference too. I still love being with my kids and, most days anyway, manage to get through without too much chaos or frustrations. So today I’m sharing some of the things that I’ve learned.

Most important thing to remember is that our kids are still just kids and don’t need us dictating and directing their every waking moment. Mystie Winkler from Simply Convivial turned me on to interval planning and taking every 7th (or so) week off from homeschooling. This doesn’t mean you take the week off from life but it does mean that you take time to set yourself up for success.

Bears prepare for hibernation by filling their bellies and finding a nice cave to hunker down in to sleep the months away.

What can we, as mothers, do to prepare for winter?

Some things that keep me sane as a mother through the winter with 5 children in 1300sqft:

Regular Routines and Rhythms

Helps keep the kids from getting bored. And helps keep us all from getting stressed out and overwhelmed with the house mess. This includes daily rhythms, housekeeping rhythms, and even food planning rhythms. Less thinking needed means more time for creativity and less time for stress. If you want some help getting started, you can pop your email address into the box below and I’ll send you a copy of our super simple morning routine. It is easy to follow for my toddler and thorough enough that even my tween and I still use it!

Physical Activity

Even though we’re stuck at home all day and the kids aren’t always able to get into the backyard to play, we don’t want to forget to take care of our bodies and minds by getting active.

I have two busy and bouncy little boys. (The older two are not quite as energetic.) A few years ago I decided to give up precious floor space to a rebounder. (tip: get a good quality one like this rebounder to minimize annoying squeaking.) It was primarily for health reasons for myself but it has been well used by my busy boys as well as numerous energetic little friends who make a beeline for it first thing when they come over to visit. Even the older boys are occasionally instructed to do 20 jumps when they start getting antsy. We have a very strict “one body at a time” safety rule and the kids (usually) take turns like champs. They count jumps, sing silly songs, and launch off into piles of blankets. It takes up a ton of floor space so sometimes we put it on its side by a wall or in front of a bookcase but it has been worth its weight in gold for this mama’s sanity. Another fun and simple way to get rid of the wiggles is to blast some music and dance. I am a pretty quiet person by nature and I don’t do well with lots of loud noises but sometimes it’s good to just turn it up and move. And even Mama can get into the groove. Make a point to dance like a total loser to see if you can entice your kids to join you or perhaps even challenge you to a dance competition. There are no rules other than to get up out of your seat and move! Okay, one rule: don’t only play little kids songs. Make sure you throw in some Smash Mouth, Bruno Mars, Abba, Bruce Sprinsteen or Panic at the Disco. Have some fun with it!

Creative and Open Ended Toys

So. Much. Lego. We started out our parenting journey with a healthy helping of the stuff from my husband’s youth but it has been a great gift suggestion for grandparents and aunts and uncles. We also have a couple Lego Ideas books and a bin of crinkled building instructions. (They used to be nicely organized in a binder but…. kids. /sigh) This isn’t just about Lego though, it is about any long-lasting creative toy. For example, we received these sets for Christmas last year and I’m continually impressed with how creative the boys can be with what seems like such simple toys. They got this set this Christmas so they’ve been getting consistent playtime, though they prefer to mix in some Lego minifigures while building.

Planned Screen Time

Scheduling it cuts down on the constant asking because the kids know that it is coming. And, if they do ask, it allows you to point at the clock and say “not yet” and you aren’t continually having to offer extra reasons or think about whether now is really a good time or not.

Find a time that consistently works for your family. For my family, we do a tidy time at about 4:30ish (they tidy all the messes they made through the day) and screens can turn on at 5pm, but only if they’re done tidying.

Then I get to make supper and do my own thing with minimal interruptions until we turn screens off and have our family supper at 6pm. A clear start time and starting requirement, a clear end time, and something to transition to has made the screen time struggle almost non-existent in our home.

Quiet time

This is often largely seen as being important for Mama and the littlest ones, but there comes a point when the older kids need a break from each other too.

After lunch, when everyone is spending their energy digesting, we have nap & quiet. The boys have learned (by me being half asleep and growling at them or shushing them) that they need to keep it down so I can rest. They often still play together during this time but try to whisper. This is not a routine that can be established overnight but it is something that is work persisting in.

And if they end up fighting, I send them to different corners of the house with a book or something until they are ready to be quiet or until I’m ready to wake up.

Positive Attitude

I am going to be honest and say that I’m not always a big fan of being stuck inside my home. Especially since I would prefer a bit more space with more than one bathroom and more corners for kids to hunker down in during quiet time. But we don’t currently have another option so I spend a lot of time thanking God for the blessing of a home that keeps us warm and dry.

An attitude of gratitude can make a world of difference in how we perceive our situation. It can be the difference between misery and joy.

I find encouragement and comfort in knowing that God understands and He is the one who is holding us in this situation. I don’t understand why but I am willing to trust His plan for us and attempt to be content in all situations.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”

Philippians 4:12 NIV

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Encouragement for Moms Who Are Overwhelmed or Discouraged: We’re All Broken

by Tessa | Faith, Motherhood

Encouragement for Moms Who Are Overwhelmed or Discouraged: We’re All Broken

Disclosure

One of the biggest things I have learned over my years as a mother is that we are two imperfect people raising imperfect people in a world that often works against us.

This can sound like a sober realization and a hopeless proclamation but I’d like to take the opportunity to explain why it is actually a huge encouragement for moms who are overwhelmed or discouraged or who just feel like God made a mistake when He made them responsible for such tiny creatures.

encouragement for moms who are overwhelmed and discouraged. we're all broken

We were not designed to be broken. Our world, our bodies, our souls, were created to be pure and in perfect harmony with the Creator. A phrase I was taught at a youth retreat a couple decades ago is that “God doesn’t make mistakes.”

He didn’t make a mistake when he made you a mother. On the contrary, He gave you the exact children that you were meant to have, in the exact amount, and with the exact personalities He wanted for them. None of them were accidentally put into your heart, home, and family.

That is one aspect of this concept. The next is the acceptance that we will never be able to raise perfect children. We all have our own childhood issues from when our parents raised us that we need to deal with, some are more traumatic and some affects us less but they are all part of our story and who we are today. Our children will also be affected by their childhood, for better or worse.

I have met amazing parents whose teenage and adult children chose to follow dangerous or heartbreaking paths. I have met parents who neglected or abused their children whose children found healing and hope and have gone on to become incredibly stable and hope-filled adults.

Does this mean that parenting doesn’t matter? Absolutely not. When children grow up with a stable, consistent, and loving caregiver, they always remember what security and safety feel like, no matter the direction they take in life.

Down to our very soul, God made us in His image to be amazing and world impacting people. His original design and desire for us is to worship Him in wholeness.

Down to our very soul, God made us in His image to be amazing and world impacting people. His original design and desire for us is to worship Him in wholeness. Unfortunately we are attacked on a daily basis by the broken world we live in. We believe the lies that tell us we’re not good enough. That we are worthless because we don’t measure up to an arbitrary standard or because we are terrible sinners.

I will admit that I am not a thorough housekeeper. I don’t enjoy it and often do just the minimum to keep my house respectable. After 15 years of keeping my own house, I still haven’t found a way to actually enjoy it. (I’m guessing many of you can relate.) Does this make me any less of a person? Not in the slightest. We would never say that someone is worth less because they can’t manage to keep all the laundry cleaned, folded, and put away! Some days it is a struggle just to keep it all in the house! (Please tell me my kids are not the only ones who leave socks, shirts, and muddy jeans outside under the swing set.)

What you do (or do not do) does not define who you are.

Whether you struggle with minor things like math or laundry, or with more life-altering habits and sins, what you do does not change the fact that God did not mess up on you. The devil’s trick is to make you believe the lie that you are not enough. It is the same lie he will tell your children through their lives.

Do you remember when you first looked on your child? Born into this world and full of beauty and innocence. Potential. Wholeness.

All of that is still there.

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As someone who is constantly battling the devil whispering in my ear and telling me that I’m not good enough, as someone who has been pushed down and trampled on by brokenness too many times to count, I can still confidently say that the world may break me but God still owns me. He is still the foundation, the core, that I am built on. And He keeps rebuilding me. I beg Him regularly to keep rebuilding me.

That same core is built into you and your children. We would never say there is such thing a worth more or worth less when it comes to our children so why do we believe the lie that there is such a thing when it comes to God’s children?

Knowing this lie will attack our children, are there any measures we can take to prepare them?

The number one thing we can do as parents is to fill up our hearts with so much Truth and Love, to allow ourselves to accept that we are broken but can be built up, that it can’t help but spill over into our children. They need us to fill them up with so much of God’s perfect Love that they can reject the lie that will be whispered to them, shoved at them, and sometimes even shouted from the rooftops, throughout their lives.

No matter what way I look at this parenting gig, it always cycles back to my childhood song of “read your Bible, pray every day.” Always back to starting with good, faith building habits.